Your husband of 4 years said your kids and you are sucking him dry of money and he wants a divorce yes you have a son with a child that lives with us and a younger one at home also and you dont work?

Answer 1

A REAL MAN,HUSBAND and FATHER would not make this comment. He should not begrudge the fact that he should provide things for his family and in the same token he should not be working 15 hours a day and have nothing to show for it. Either he is making excuses for another reason he wants a divorce or is totally unhappy at this point in his life and needs to vent somewhere else, like a therapist. The son that live with you with a child should be providing for himself and that child, giving you and your husband, monies for rent, food,electricity, anything that he would have to pay if he lived on his own. The younger child, if not of working age, should be doing what he can around the house to show responsibility. You, too can be going to work to help ease the pressures your husband obviously feels, even if its part time. You have to examine WHY this statement came out. Do you live a modest life and have savings or do you live beyond your means and are in hock up to your ears. Your husband may feel its time for the birds to fly the coop, he may have the feeling that he would like to live his life now that his duties in financially supporting two boys is over, so to speak. Sit down with all in the family to see what, if anything you ALL can do to help the situation. If your husbands only answer is divorce then this has been going on a long enough time for him to act out in this way. One more thing are these boys even his children? That can have something to do with it too. It is possible that your husband is well-meaning, but feels unable to control or reasonably influence the situation. It sounds as if your son with the child is yours and not his. If this is so, your husband may be justified in wanting the son to be on his own, or at least working and taking care of his own needs and the needs of the child. The son could be contributing something to the household rather than being a drain, and in that case your husband might be ok with the son remaining there and get some benefit from not having to pay a regular rent right away. If this were my son, I would have clear expectations and a proposed date of "independence". The son's situation and readiness can be reviewed, but at some point for his own good I would get him the heck out of the house. Your responsibility is clearly toward your younger child, but this doesn't mean that you can't find some part-time work, and at least make some monetary contribution to the house as well. You and your husband have to think in the long term, and that means that you have to have a plan to save and prepare for future stages of life. It is not unreasonable for a couple to consider each other to be the important focus of the relationship, even with children involved. I am not talking about neglect of children. Children must be nurtured and raised, and taught to be adults. Husbands and wives are dedicated to each other for the long haul, and that focus cannot be put on a back burner.