Are cuckold marriages successful

Answer 1

They can be. No authoritative research has been done to determine if they are more or less successful than other marriages, whatever the definition of success. (Such research would face the same nearly insurmountable hurdles of all research in alternative sexual practices and fetishes: the unwillingness of enough people to speak honestly about their participation.)

All marriages are different and are subject to risks the derive from the fears, weaknesses, and personalities of the two people in them. Since fetish involves playing with deep fears, it tends to bind people closer to each other rather than shove them apart. In the case of cuckolding fetish, however, the play centers specifically on fears of rejection, betrayal, and loss in marriage which strikes some folks as too close to the bone. As with any activity, the biggest concerns develop when one partner is into it and pushes the other to go beyond their comfort zone.

However, if a couple have discussed it honestly and openly and are both willing, the fetish can actually strengthen their commitment to each other:

• Cuckolds themselves tend to be very faithful and devoted because the gratification of their fetish is dependent on a willing partner. "There are plenty of fish in the sea," is never a truism for people with serious fetishes, and in this case the fetish depends on being in a committed relationship because one can't get the cuckold thrill from a paid sex worker, stranger, or other person you do not have feelings for.
• In order to get to the point of engaging in a cuckold fetish, a deep level of intimacy and sharing of confidences and vulnerabilities had to have taken place between the couple. We know that such sharing builds commitment and strengthen relationships.
• Cuckolding couples have a lot of shared secrets from family and friends as a result of their activity. (Or if they are more public, possibly shared experience of censure and opposition.) This also tends to strengthen relationships.
• Although cuckold marriages involve women having sex with other men and sometimes are paired with denial fetishes in which certain kinds of sexual activity is withheld from the husband, the sexual intimacy of engaging in such an elaborate fetish actually exceeds that of some marriages with more traditional sexual activities.

The fear that cuckolding will cause an otherwise solid marriage to fail is an illusion manifesting the very fears of replacement and betrayal that cuckolding fetishizes and rests on the fallacy that extramarital sex necessarily leads to decreased intimacy and trust within the marriage.

A personal note: I am a cuckold myself and have been since before I was married 13 years ago! Our marriage is the strongest I can imagine and certainly stronger than that of many, many "vanilla" friends of ours. We plan and expect to grow old together and are more honest and supportive of each other than most marriages we know. Indeed, we are the envy of our friends. That is not scientific, of course. We are just one couple. Nut our marriage works, has worked, and is built to last.