Are you abusing your mother if she has your late father's memoirs and you wish to obtain these and write a book but she refuses to give them to you and you have asked for these memoirs several times?

Answer 1

Hi Aha, the two good old wicked sister's of the West! I think they are afraid you'll get something from your mother that they won't. If you can give me the name of your father's schooner and his name, I may be able to get some information for you. I do research for a few companies and I do work for my husband who is a yacht builder, so I may get lucky. As I also said I am into my own family history so have some good websites. Also took a genealogy course. We can see if that works, and if it doesn't then I'd leave sleeping dogs lie for a month or so and then take your mom for lunch and ask her about the memoirs. Tell her it's important to you and that you'll let her read everything you write for her approval. In fact, here's an idea, get her involved in it and this way you may well get some good information. Kids (no matter how old) never really know what their parents were like during their marriage and you just never know if you mother has had some bad times with your father and times she would rather forget. Again, you are not abusive! You may be driving your mother around the bend continually asking her about the memoirs but that is NOT abuse. Take a rest from it and let your mom sort things out in her own mind. If you would like me to help you just post me, and if you don't want the help I'll understand. Marcy No you're not abusive, but persistent. What was between your mother and father is private and she sees it as that. There are things she may not want you to know. I am doing an album on ancestry and many of the older folk in the family keep "mum" and "don't want to discuss it" or, "why do you need to know?" I'm patient and sometimes I can get information out of them when I talk about old times when I was growing up in the 40s and 50s and then they step right in and tell me a little more about how things were in their day. Be patient! I would suggest that you ask your mother if she could tape the memoirs for you and this way she can let you know what she wants you to know and keep the rest to herself. Explain why you want to do this and be sure when you write those memoirs that you do it with integrity and honesty. I write as well, and if I can't tell the truth I won't put it in. Good luck Marcy Marcy, These are not Memoirs of My Mother & Father's private life. My father owned a schooner & he sailed to Norther Canada (Labrador) numerous times. He made a log or diary of these adventures & now they are in my mother's possession. I have asked for these many times in order to write a book on his adventures. She has told her daughters that I am attempting to obtain these diaries. My mother does not call me an Abuser. My two sisters are trying to convince my mother I am Abusing her & they also state "I am Abusing my Mother". I see no Abuse in my activities. As you stated , I am persistent. How can such a request by me be perceived as Abuse when my two sisters are never present when I ask for the diaries ?? (I am not well liked by my two sisters -- They both perceive my insistence as Abusing our mother).