Are you verbally abusive if you have spoken approximately six cuss words in a 30-year relationship during an outpouring of pent-up frustration?
Swear words don't define an "abusive" relationship entirely. Ask yourself these questions: Have you ever raised your voice to your spouse? Have you ever raised your hand (as if to hit) to your spouse? Have you ever made threats (real or just words like, "I'm going to kill you!") to your spouse? Have you ever thrown objects at or near your spouse? Do you drink or use drugs that may cause emotions to run high or you to become agitated easily? If you have children, have they ever become involved in a fight? If you can answer 'Yes' to even one of these questions, your actions may deemed abusive even if you've kept the foul laungae to a minimum. Sounds like some counseling may be in order to preserve this relationship.