Do abusive husbands learn anything besides anger control from therapists?

Answer 1

Yes, hopefully getting to the bottom of their anger and finding out why they have the abusive behavior. Usually it stems back to family (some mother's can be equally mentally or physically abusive as fathers). When children it's impossible to fight back and protect oneself, so the child goes into a mode of deep denial (almost like going into shock) in order to cope. Eventually memories will come back a little at a time as the child grows older, and that's when the anger builds. I was fortunately never abused by my parents, but often do look back and realize we are all really just children inside, and all the hurts we have ever experienced while young are still in our minds. The difference is, we saw things differently as children and now we are adults. So, for those who have been mentally or physically abused they now become angry because they think they should have been stronger and stopped especially any sexual abuse. The sad thing is, children are innocent and it should have been the adults that protected the child. Thus, anger over-flows and a hard wall of protection goes up around the child and follows they through adulthood, and they themselves can become abusive to their partners in life. Abusive behavior is a difficult one at best, and every person that has to unfortunately put up with this abuse deals with it in a different manner. I sure hope your husband does get treatment, but because it took years for him to get this way it could take years for him to understand what has happened to him. Good luck Marcy