Do panda's have nuts

Answer 1

Yes, they have three highly developed testicule orbs (latin:corpus testiculus) . One contains the sense of balance within the panda, the other can be transformed into a hand grenade and the last produces chemicals needed e.g hormones and glands. However the panda can charge these balls together to unleash a deadly radioactive spermatazoa fluid by shouting the words "thunderbolt ho!"

Early Chinese warriors used this fluid in poisoned darts and weaponry and has even become a local delicacy amongst the gong wei tribes in northern China,however like the deadly Pufferfish, only a highly skilled chef or wahwah shaman as they are called by the villagers are able to execute the correct preparation of the dish as the spermatazoa fluid is highly lethal when consumed without particular zatoas sections extracted.

It is said in ancient Chinese folk lore that when the Panda dies it, much like a snake, sheds its nuts which after 1000 days and nights sprout wings and float up to the gods where they play strip Poker and watch David Attenborough documentries, laughing about how wrong he is.

As many panda experts will know they are actually extremely accomplished hunters and incorporate their testes into this. There are two main ways in which they do this, the first being the crushing of smaller prey using the testes themselves or flailing as panda folk call it. The second is using the second ball (Polatus dier testiculus) as the infamous hand grenade, they will crouch behind a fallen tree or thick shrubbery and throw the grenade at an arched angle at their chosen target then duck for cover holding their large paws above their heads in protection. After three full moons the testical is reborn in a glorious fashion and is ready for use on prey once again.

A disadvantage of the Pandas' semen is its potency, walking within a 10 metre radius of a male panda will result in instant pregnancy (perhaps explaining China's large teenage pregnancy issue amongst villagers). However, this does not explain the endangered panda problem. The only theory which has emerged on this subject is that female Pandas give birth to medieval warriors who then, filled with rage after being taken from the War of the Roses, immediately impale their mothers with a sharpened ruler. The pandas being loving to their offspring who they could easily destroy in hand to hand combat and armed warfare take it like a man and die at the hands of their babies.

Hope this has answered your question, happy pandering.