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On an emotional level, yes I would. If you do or say anything behind their backs that you would not do in front of their face, it's wrong and you shouldn't do it.

AnswerIf your significant other is unaware and you are doing it on the sly and make excuses or other stories up and are plain lying then, yes, that is cheating. If you thought it was ok, 1)you wouldn't ask and 2) your partner would know about it. Try the reverse, how would you feel about your partner speaking to someone behind your back and what is the conversations going to lead to , something not healthy for your current relationship.!!!!!

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From my part it is, but it depends on how often this call is, if yous spouse is calling this other person and he never told you, how would you feel. But if he did told you about this person calling or him calling, then possibly not. But here is a point, if your husband says they are only friends, how about ask him what kind of friends who call and always talking on the phone. If your spouse told you they are only friends, then tell him friends from the same or opposite sex do not keep calling. A good friend only say hi and maybe the longest time they can talk is 5- 15 min.

The man I married just gave me his opinion just now and he said it is not cheating. You know why he said it is not cheating, because he met a woman on dating site and from the moment they connected they become partner in crimes, ( figure of speech) He said its not cheating because he is very close to this woman and he said they are only friends. A friend who visit her work place late at night, friend who visit her at her home during her days off, friend that go out on a date and yes go to the beach very late at night because they are only talking. He said it's not cheating because he talked to her 24/7 for at least 2 months and stay up till morning because they are talking about some kind of faith. He said its not cheating because calling her is just to say hi and wish her a wonderful day till they can meet together. He said it is not because making out with the other woman is not cheating. Yes calling is part and the start of affairs..............and I do apologize if this is happening to you.

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13y ago
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15y ago

I think the word "cheating" is not what is important.

My definition of "cheating" is different than most others. I think cheating is any time you deprive the partner of any significant truth. You are not letting them know exactly who they are with and they are under a misconception of who they're in a relationship with.

And this means that if you have sex with someone else and tell your partner, you are not "cheating" as you are being completely honest about what you have done.... now of course, what you did was wrong but it's not cheating by my book. I do not condone it, I just think cheating is when you are being dishonest.

I think secret texting and phone calls is not as bad as having sex. But by my definition, it is cheating. If you think cheating is only when you're physically fooling around, then that's fine, but then secret texting and phone calls would be being dishonest and could be perceived as having an emotional affair, which I really think can be worse.

I hope that helps you!

Good Luck!

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Q: Is secret texting and phone calls cheating?
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