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In the beginning of my relationship with a man, he was very kind and charming. Everything I ever wanted or dreamed about having in a man. The first time he stood me up, I was hurt and tried to tell him. He told me I was weak and he didn't owe me an explanation. From that point on, the more I voiced my needs, the more emotionally abusive he became. I noticed that I was retaliating with verbal abuse. He would call me a name, and I would call him something back. I think it was my way of defending myself. I'm not sure. I have guilt, because our fights were terrible destructive emotionally. I'm not sure if its common to start identifying and developing similar traits to an abuser.

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โˆ™ 2006-04-22 19:15:24
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Q: Do you develop abusive patterns after being emotionally abused by your partner?
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Related questions

Is spitting at my partner considered as domestic violence?

No, it's just gross.----It isn't unless you combine it with other physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually abusive behavior.YES it is Domestic Violence

How do you help someone who is in an emotionally abusive relationship?

Abusive relationships are some of the most difficult ones to resolve. THis type of relationship assumes that one partner is abusive and continues to be so because there is no response to the abuse. The difference here centers on "self-assurance." The abusive partner continues his or her behavior because there is no response. I can not suggest how the abused party should respond because in most instances they feel diminished. This situation can only be resolved through extended counseling, if at all.

Does Cannabis make your partner abusive? should make them lethargic...they were abusive before the drugs.

How do you reason with abusive partner?

You don't. You get away.

Why does an abusive boyfriend get mad when you allow your ex-husband to get you upset?

Because he is abusive. Partner abuse is a treatable sickness, but not always curable. Staying with an abusive partner does not help them to become a better person.

Is it good to go back to an abusive partner?

No, absolutely not.

Do abusive men go on to abuse their next partner?


How do you tell a new partner about an abusive pas?

Tell him/her a story about abusive experience then tell to him/her that you are the main subject behind that story.

What should you do if you threw your abusive partner out of the house but you feel worse instead of better?

Of course you're going to feel guilt or remorse. That's because you have a history with this person and a conscious. But does not mean you should let your abusive partner move back in. It is unsafe for you and for him or her. The best thing for you to do is keep your abusive partner out of the house and slowly lose contact with him or her.

Should i leave my abusive partner?

If a friend were in your situation, what would you advise?

Why is your cousin staying in a abusive relationship?

There is probably psychological abuse going on there which is based on her fear of her partner. She may also have become dependent on her partner (for example, financially or emotionally) for love in the early stages of her relationship. There is also the issue of power which her partner has over her which is why she does not leave. You dont say if they have children in which case there may be all sorts of reasons she justifies herself for staying 'because of the children'.

Is the emotionally abused partner in a state of denial most of the time?

It depends on the partner. My would be yes. Even after I was physical abused I still was in denial and even made up excuses for the guys behavior and I was 9 months pregnant. I believe we don't want to except that the man/women we trusted would do such a thing. Nevertheless, I kickd him out that night, we need to Acknowledge that our first reaction is denial and their is no excuses for abuse emotionally or physically. Depends on the partner. Codependent victims are in a state of denial. The abuser denies that his conduct is abusive.

What is the best way to cheat on your partner?

Why would you want to cheat on your partner? Unless he is abusive or cheating on you, if he is loyal and loving there is no point.

How many times does it take to leave an abusive partner?

After your abusive partner abuses you once you need to leave. There is no staying around because it won't get any better it only gets worst after you let them abuse you once.

Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if abused by a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?

it is possible

Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if with a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?

It is highly unlikely that man who does not have an abusive personality will become an abuser if their partner grew up in an abusive home and refuses help. Good men know they should never hit a woman which in some cases can lead to male abuse by a woman. The stress of being around an abusive person be it verbally or physical abuse is bound to have effects on the non abusive partner, but most men will only take so much and have the opportunity of leaving the relationship.

Do you give your abusive partner his belongings back?

Abusive or not, "his" belongings are his property and so in the eyes of the law they must go back to him. Anyway, if you tried to keep them, wouldn't that just make him MORE abusive?

If your emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend met someone else two days after he broke up with you will he do the same thing to his new girlfriend that he did to you?

More than likely While some relationships are independently dysfunctional, a true abusive personality tend to take the same behavior from relationship to relationship, so the odds are good the he will treat his next partner the same way he treated you.

Are some people abusive to certain partners but then not to others?

no they well be like that fot the rest of ther life Abusive people are abusive to whomever will allow it. They are elusive and once in their realm, they start abusing...not matter who the partner is.

How can you trust your husband not to be controlling and verbally abusive? The above URL might be helpful in determining healthy boundaries in a relationship so that you can recognise such boundaries, set them and maintain them should you be in what is an abusive or controlling relationship. One does not passively *trust* that a partner will not be "controlling" or "verbally abusive" whatever promises may be made and however contrite the emotionally abusive partner may be. Rather, it is our responsibility to ensure we recognise what does and does not promote our emotional wellbeing and that we take steps to set and maintain limits to ensure our own emotional safety. It is important to know ourselves and our limits and to clearly, clamly and assertively convey those limits to others and ask that they be respected. Obviously, if a partner cannot or will not recognise our limits we must take steps to protect ourselves. If we are committed to the relationship in question, then we may try avenues such as counselling to alter the destructive dyamics within a relationship. However, if a partner is unwilling to confront the problems and to make lasting changes via intervention, then we must put an end to the relationship with an abusive partner for the sake of self-preservation.

How do you stay with an abusive partner?

A better question to ask would be 'Why would you want to?' No one in their right mind would stay with an abusive partner on purpose, never mind help someone else do it, as you seem to be asking. If your partner is abusive to you, you need to seek help to leave, not stay. Any hospital, police station, or community service center could put you in contact with help in your area, all you need to do is ask.

How can you remove the barriers of intimaticy?

First you must develop trust with honesty. If you aren't honest with your partner you'll never get close to them emotinally. After all intimacy is being close emotionally. Once this barrier is conquered the rest will fall into place.

What is aspect of love?

To be in love with a relationship that will always last, and be connected to your partner emotionally, mentally, physically

Do you get emotionally attached to your first partner?

I do believe so. I believe in the saying love a first sight.

How do you protect yourself from a narcissistic partner?

detach emotionally and leave Or stay and agree and be his/her slave you have to choose