How can a newly married couple stop fighting about money?

Answer 1

We went to a couples communication class. (Talking and Listening Together by Sherod and Phyllis Miller) We learned how to talk to one another about subjects and to hear each other out. The other piece that was really important to us was to be able to state the issue and then ask the other for a day and time to talk about the issue, using the format. So, since we had two very different opinions, habits and defensiveness, our day was Saturday mornings for a "financial meeting." We paid bills and planned how we would spend/save/invest our upcoming pay. We had to formalize it this way for about six months, and now we are able to do it less formally. Another thing we did was to go to a fee-based financial planner. We paid a set fee and can seek her advice on anything for a year, plus she helped us with an overall plan. Another good book was "Degunking your Personal Finances." By the way, our accounts are all joint, and though we each have our strong points, we each have the same information about matters.

come up with a plan, create a budget, list your expenses, your income, set a goal.

I believe a couple should split the bills equally, other expenses should be split as the need arises, after the necessities are covered, each should have their own accounts to pay for their own wants/toys. This way the bills are taken care of, and the responsible of the pair can have what they want, the irresponsible can deal with their problem without affecting the other.

The budget advice is very important and useful but equally essential is to understand that it's often not really about the money.

Ask yourself and your partner what the real conflict is. Often a set of smaller issues can build up and turn into what looks like a money argument.

If it really is about the money then maybe one of you is better at money handling than the other. If so, don't hand off all the responsibility but try to learn from each other.

It helped my husband and I to stop fighting about money when we agreed one of us needed to be in charge over the finances. My husband is far more disciplined when it comes to money than I am; therefore it just made sense for him to be in control of it and how it gets spent.

Money is always the #1 issue with newlyweds. My husband & I also settled the arguing with me handling all the money issues instead of him. He is not good with money.

1. Decide who will be responsible for the bills 2. Open up ONE joint account where all money will be depositied- then pay the bills. 3. Set a "monthly allowance" for you and your husband, that is deposited in SEPERATE accounts.

Do not divide the bills. That creates a sense of separate and division and often times leads to arguments. Think- "Why am i paying X amount of dollars, and he is only paying Q amount?"

"How can a newly married couple stop fighting about money?"

My advice, marry a man with plenty of it.

Best Wishes For The Future...