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How can an abusive man not be over the relationship if you have had no contact for ten years?
Alberta
Most abusers are about control and they never like to deal with "the one that got away." He remembers you in the text as always having control over you, so 10 or 20 years later he is going to pick up where he left off. My question is, "how would you know if he's not over the relationship if you haven't talked to him?" Don't even entertain the idea of being curious over this low-life abuser by perhaps asking friends what he is up too. Take a fast step out the door! Good luck Merry Christmas Marcy His Mother told me this. However, although she has a very kind personality, she does and never has seen her son as he really is. She said some mean personal things to me the other day. I told her I am sorry hes not doing well but I have moved on. There is no way I want him back. Yes he had alot of control. It was much like a parent/child relationship. I was 23 he was 36. He broke my heart and I got over it completley. I just wondered cause i found it odd that ten years later she would say this. I mean a whole lifetime of events good and bad have happened in my life since that time and i cant imagine feeling that way after ten years of not seeing a person. Maybe he just enver found another woman who was so niave and so easy to control. Hi there Thanks for sharing in more detail about your problem. It sounds like his mother wants her son to be happy (is in denial as to what he is ... an abusive person) and is trying her best to get the both of you back together again. Stay clear of her! You've done a fine job of getting him out of your life. This guy shows every sign of being irresponsible, immature, and certainly not independent. I doubt any of his relationships have worked out and his life will continue to go this way. Keep going! You have a great Christmas a I wish you good things in 2006. Marcy
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Who are affected by abusive relationship?
a lot of people...............man, woman, children all over the world
How do you confront your abusive parent when your whole family has been living in denial of the abuse for over thirty years?
You have to make a choice. Your sanity and well-being against continued contact with your family in denial.
It's been over two years now since I got out of an 10 yr long abusive relationship. So how do I get the confidence to meet someone else?
Short term counseling. Snowskeeper: Don't try to do it too soon after the relationship, just get comfortable with other people first. Then try it.
How often you must forgive who hurts us?
Answer It is always better to forgive the ones that hurt us but that doesn't mean you should stay in an abusive relationship. You can forgive someone who hurts you but you don't have to continue a relationship with that person. If someone hurts you over and over it is time to leave that relationship. The ones we love the most will, at times, hurt us even unintentionally. The reason for that is because we care, otherwise it wouldn't hurt us. In a situation where someone is hurting you over and over or being abusive, then get out. Get away from that person.
Is it a sign that a guy is not over a past relationship if he keeps her contact information and pictures?
Yes
How can you tell if your boyfriend is really over the one of his friends whom he had a crush on for years but we are in a happy and loving relationship but worried that he is not completely over her?
If he is not keeping in contact with his ex crush then you are simply borrowing trouble by worrying about. If he is in contact with his ex crush then you should make it plain to him it's either you or her. He has no reason to keep in contact with her and if he refuses then move on with your own life.
What does an abusive man think when the relationship is over?
It purely depends upon the man (or woman!). Some may experience guilt of conscience, and some may not think twice.
How do you get over an abusive relationship when you live in the same complex and you want to move far away but can't?
report to police restraing order move in temp with fam/friends
Is eighteen years difference in a relationship a bad idea?
No, as long as you and the other person contributing to the relationship are both over 18 years of age.
How does alcohol effect liver?
Abusive alcohol drinking constantly over a period of many years or decades can cause liver problems.
When will you begin to feel 'normal' after leaving an abusive relationship?
There is no one correct answer. So long as a person remembers anything of the abusive relationship, it will always have some effect on them simply by remembering it. In a similar fashion to some believing virginity can never be regained once lost, someone who is abused can never be "never abused" unless they incur a complete amnesia over their memory of the entire abusive relationship. The more serious consequences to the victim of a relationship, such as depression (suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness, etc.), nightmares, "battered wife syndrome" (in which one thinks the abusive relationship is their fault and the relationship can be good again if they are a better lover) may not pass at all if the victim has chronic depression (chronic depression doesn't mean feeling depressed after an emotionally traumatic event, such as an abusive relationship, but is a neurochemical imbalance that can make it impossible for a person to stop feeling depressed even long after the event, whereas a normal person will feel depressed but the feeling of depression fades after not too long of a period). Several months to a year or more may be required for the worst symptoms to pass. Certainly, if bad symptoms persist for longer than a year, professional help may be required (but it is a good idea for the victim of an abusive relationship to get professional help early anyway, as some of the side effects of an abusive relationship can be deadly).
Why do you think some people do not want to help people they know in an abusive relationship?
One reason may be is that they don't know how to help. Another reason may be they are afraid to help. The power that an abuser has over the abused is frightening, both emotionally and physically. It is not unheard of that an abusive relationship can end in murder. Often times the abused person has been brainwashed into thinking they don't deserve anything better. Or they know they need help, but are too afraid to ask for it. There are professional organizations that are trained to help people get out of abusive relationships. They will offer a safe place to stay, counseling and the tools to start their life over. The abused person is the only one who can make positive steps to leave an abusive relationship. The best that family and friends can do is support that decision.
