Best Answer

You will not be able to cure this person. They have a serious illness. There is no point in living in that uncertainty. See a counsellor and start making plans to leave. You owe it to yourself to be happy. I am yet another writer experienced in living with a manic depressive person who also self medicates. When we went to the doctor about this issue she did nothing to help. Actually, she made things worse but administering self diagnosis in which she is an MD and not a mental health professional. She gave him an anti depressant which made his manic flare out into rage attacks. Then she added more pain medication since he continued to complain about pain from work. We told her he using these meds to self medicate and at times alcohol to bring him down from a manic. I went to see the author of " What goes up" a newer book about a manic spouse who eventually committted suicide. Her experience was like mine and she herself was a social worker with no one listening to her about her own spouse. These people are charmers, and often what they do privately does not show the same was in public. Often additional mental health issues come with this especially if you notice their own family in denial about these matters. My husband has gotten worse over the years. He denies any problems other then it is me or his children but never him. He has no empathy for others, sleeps in our masterbedroom alone, allowing me to come in occasionally. He helps with nothing and when manic with rage strikes, everything is destroyed. My children have all moved out now and do not even come home for holidays because he is either moaning and laying in a bed or up and raging manic behavior and it destroys all our holidays. I have not had one Christmas in 15 years because of him. Loyalty or not this is a behavior that no human needs to endure. Many people are sick but when they ride the fence and show others their con job of lies about how bad it really is and when a doctor can actually play co dependent and make matters worse, There is nothing more to be done. My children know no peace. My health takes a beatting from his insanity. Your life is worth more then this..........this man has had three wifes now and I am the first to hang on this long since 1987. When is enough enough ? It is not just about credit cards, those are easy to stop. It is all the other insanity and lack of love and a life. Don't tolerate it. There are sane people out there willing to be partners. Elizabeth read that book WHAT GOES UP......... Divorce is your decision because living with a manic depressive person can be difficult at best. I always believe (other than abusive behavior in a married relationship) that we are in marriage for the long haul. There is no guarantees as to which mate is going to become ill or with what. It's so easy to run away when things get a bit tough, but you sound like a strong person and want to make things work between you and your spouse and also you reflect being a made that is loyal. Firstly, see your family doctor (your spouse doesn't have to go with you for the first appointment) and see what your options are. There are medications that can certainly help your mate over-come manic depression, but they need to stabilize on medications first in order to concentrate on the counseling that comes next. CUT UP ALL CREDIT CARDS! Most Credit Card Companies want their money and would rather work with you to help you pay off your debts than not get the money at all. Write the Credit Card companies and explain the situation and then ask for a lower percentage rate on your outstanding debt. They will reduce the percentage rate (by law!) As long as you don't own an expensive home, own several cars and go on vacation, but you are basically just making it from pay check to pay check Credit Card Companies will work with you if you can pay the minimum payment with the new low rate of interest. This way you will keep your credit rating up. Don't let your mate have ANY credit cards and give your mate an allowance in cash if it's possible. When I deposit my husband's pay check into the bank I know how much free money we have and first I pay our bills, then I put a little into an emergency fund and then I divide what is left between my husband and I. That's our allowance! Sometimes it's a good amount and other times we're lucky if we can take in dinner and a movie. If you follow the above steps and get your mate in for proper medication and some counseling there is no reason your marriage can't become successful. If your mate refuses help then it's up to you to decide if it's worth the pain of going through all this and perhaps you need to move on. Make sure you make your feelings clear to your mate. Good luck Marcy * In the US an adult (spouse or otherwise) cannot legally prevent another adult from using credit cards or obtaining other sources of credit unless said adult agrees, has granted a power of attorney or the concerned adult (spouse) has been awarded adult guardianship. They cannot take the credit cards from the adult or destroy them or close the account without the legal authority or permission from the account holder even if the accounts are joint marital ones. To do so arbitrarily can result in serious legal consequences for the person acting against the non compliant spouse. The best option for the spouse to protect herself is to consult with an attorney concerning the "innocent spouse" laws for the state in which she resides.

User Avatar

Wiki User

โˆ™ 2006-11-11 20:07:55
This answer is:
User Avatar

Add your answer:

Earn +20 pts
Q: How can one protect oneself from a manic depressive spouse who has maxed out credit cards and a inability to pay them and is divorce the only way?
Write your answer...
Related questions

From which radiation it is most difficult to protect oneself?

Gamma Radiation

What does self preservation mean?

It is the desire to protect oneself from harm, to keep safe.

How can a man protect assets in a divorce in Indiana?

Once the divorce has commenced it's too late to protect assets. That sort of planning must be done well ahead of time.

Divorce Attorneys Protect You?

Divorce is a very messy business. Different people react very differently to learning that their partner wants a divorce. There are a number of reasons why someone in this situation would want to get an attorney. These divorce attorneys help to protect them legally as they go through this process. Keep this in mind if you are considering divorce or if you think that your partner may want to get a divorce of some kind.

Why put house in trust?

The most common reasons are to protect it from creditors, to protect it in a divorce proceeding, to protect it from inheritance by an undesirable heir, to protect it from the government and to avoid probate.

Are pre nuptials legally binding?

Yes that is why they have them, to protect oneself and ones property. It's like a contract.

What is psychological safety?

Psychological SafetyPsychological safety refers to the ability to be safe with oneself, to rely on one's own ability to self-protect against any destructive impulses coming from within oneself or deriving from other people and to keep oneself out of harm's way.

When did the the right to plead the fifth become applicable only to the protection of oneself rather than the protection of others?

The right to plead the fifth to protect oneself rather than the protection of others was ratified in 1791.

What is the most useless sense?

None, all senses of the human body are essential in order to protect oneself from danger.

What is the best course of action to protect oneself from all manner of Flesh Eating Bacteria?

stay clean and live healthy

What document can protect you and your kids if your husband decides to committ adultery more than once?

A divorce should do it.

What does it mean when you dream of yourself dead and there's a wolf that wants to get you?

The dreamer feels helpless and defenseless, unable to protect oneself against malicious aggression.

Can you bankrupt a judgment from a divorce settlement?

Bankruptcy and divorce is a complicated area of law. There are certain financial obligations in a divorce that cannot be discharged in bankruptcy and some that can. There are also steps you can take in drafting the divorce agreement that can address any future bankruptcy actions and protect your rights. There is a good discussion on this topic at the link below.

Does the divorce decree protect against litigation in a repossession?

A divorce decree cannot alter the rights of the original creditor. The court can decided who gets the asset, but the both spouses remain liabile to the creditor.

What rights does someone have during a divorce?

Someone undergoing a divorce are entitled to rights that protect themselves and any children they may have. They are entitled to being protected from being intimidated, harassed or abused physically.

What type of suit does a juggernaut wear?

The Juggernauts are fictional and so are the suits they wear, the suit can not exist in real life, except for a replica that will not protect oneself like in the game.

What does voodoo do to people?

using rituals, charms and herbs, voodoo was practiced to protect oneself and harm others. it was also used for healing others too. got this from wikipedia

How can one effectively protect oneself from identity theft?

One can protect oneself from identity theft in few ways. Keep information private, do not use same information or passwords on multiple sites or cards, use a registry service to be able to cancel all cards if taken. The most important part is never give access to ones information in the first place. Use reputable sites only.

What grounds to use when filing for divorce if petitioner is the cheater?

You should consult with an attorney to find out what works best in your circumstance and to protect your rights. Your state probably has a website that outlines divorce procedure including reasons in your state.

Want a divorce what do you need to do?

When individuals want a divorce they should always retain a good lawyer to protect their interests and if children are involved there will be child support by the husband and also who will live in the house; if there is to be spousal support, etc.

Who is actions demonstrated the inability of the federal government under the Articles of Confederation to protect the citizenry from armed rebellion or provide adequately for the public welfare?

Daniel Shays (Shays's Rebellion)

Is there a way to protect your finances from divorce without a prenuptial agreement?

Don't get married or discuss the issue with an attorney who specializes in hiding assets from spouses.

Why is Alienation a Form of Self-Protection?

If one keeps oneself from becoming intimate with others, the weaker parts of one's make-up and inner person do not become exposed. Thus, one can protect oneself from being hurt by not letting people into the inner circle of one's life, and by quickly alienating the individual who attempts to do so.

Why would one purchase liability insurance?

Liability insurance is purchased to protect oneself from the risk of liabilities that are a result of a lawsuit. It its prominently used in car insurance, but can also be purchased for products, and by employers.

Is abandonment a just cause for a divorce for a Jehovah's Witness?

There are really two issues here. One is a legal divorce, the other is a scriptural divorce. If the innocent mate chooses, they may wish to obtain a legal divorce in order to protect themself financially, or even to collect alimony and/or child support. However, such a divorce would not be recognized by the congregation as grounds to re-marry. The only grounds for divorce that Jesus gave at Matthew 19:9 is fornication, meaning that if the guilty party has not committed fornication, the innocent mate would not be free scripturally to re-marry.