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  • When either the wife or husband has cheated then they have broken that bond of trust and it can take a long while to earn that trust back. When someone chooses to have an affair they hurt their spouse a great deal because it is simply saying to them 'I don't respect you; you make me so unhappy I have to find someone else.' The best medicine in a marriage is good communication skills and both partners should be able to sit down and talk about their feelings openly. No marriage is perfect and during the course of a marriage one spouse will let the other down in many ways, but that does not mean they don't love their spouse, but simply means they are not perfect. No one is perfect and if we can't possibly know ourselves 100% then we cannot know another 100%. Both men and women that are victims of their spouse having an affair are not that interested in intimacy right away because all they can think of is their mate cheating with another woman or man and why? The spouse feels there are in competition with the person their spouse had an affair with. The marriage will be unbalanced for either several months to possibly a year or more if they both work at it. Marriage counseling can help to get to the root of the problems in the marriage. Sometimes it simply boils down to the fact that one or both of the spouses are immature when they expect their marriage not to go through some bumpy times and it certainly gives them no cause to cheat. As far as having privacy the trust is earned; then the victimized spouse feels more secure and will let their spouse go out with friends on the odd occasion or give their spouse more room for privacy. Meanwhile the spouse who cheated can make an effort to include his/her spouse (quality time) going for dinner; dancing; movies, etc., which will help them become more intimate. The cheating spouse can always go to another room; have a hobby at home; go on the computer, etc., until they have earned the right of trust from their spouse.
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15y ago

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