I think "controlled" is the wrong word to used. You must overcome the things that "the narcissist" implanted in your mind...its almost like brainwashing. It helps to talk to a councilor so that you can realize the truth to the beautiful wonderful person that you really are, as opposed to the ugly unwanted animal he/she made you feel like.
I would say don't isolate yourself from people. Talk openly to someone if you can and get feedback from them. If the N accuses you or makes judgements, ask someone elses opinion. Make a list of your own values, including what YOUR expectations are. How do you like to be treated? What is important to you? I truly believe that physical distance helps too. If you can get away, go visit some friends, take a trip somewhere, do that. Counseling is important. The above poster is right! There is nothing wrong with you. Don't believe it!!! The N is the one with the problems. Good luck.
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