How can you cope with the fact that your husband has been having an affair and now you are getting divorced?

Answer 1

I am so sorry this has happened to you and of course it's a shock. However, this is not uncommon. Spouses that have children wait for the children to leave home before separating or deciding on divorce. While rearing children sometimes the couple doesn't balance out the time for each other and when the children leave home the couple are left looking at each other as if they were total strangers and this is where trouble can rear it's ugly head. There isn't much you can do at this point. Try communicating with him and ask him why he wants to leave the marriage. Don't yell or scream, but try to find out what is going through his head. Generally it's because some men or women want to recapture their young or feel there are more things in life they want to do as they know they are rapidly getting older. These thoughts happen to most of us. There is always health programs on women regarding peri menopause to menopause, but little on men's Andropause which is actually a type of menopause like women. Men can get hot flashes, depression, mood swings. If he is 40 plus then you can bet he's going through something. Some men will deal with it, others will only have a few symptoms and think nothing of it and some men will want to recapture their youth and may change their hairstyle, dress differently trying to recapture that youth they once possessed. Women can go through the same thing. Divorce can take awhile. You could pack his bags and tell him 'there's the door.' Let him know you love him. This is a good time for you to reflect on your marriage as well and you may find you do not love him as much as you think (you both may have fallen out of love.) There is nothing to be frightened of. By law you will get monies, etc., to provide for yourself. You also would have the freedom to do things you may have never had the chance to do. You could go back to college (I did when I was older) go to work or take courses in something you enjoy and then go back to work. If you are working then take a vacation to think things out. Sometimes people need the freedom from each other, but often 'the grass on the other side of the fence isn't always greener' and your husband needs to find this out. Unless your husband is wealthy then any young girl he may date will only hang around him for a short time because he won't be able to keep up and money speaks volumes! If you read 'relationships' on this board you will find out that often a man or woman will leave the marriage only to realize they had given up something precious and really do love their mate, but unfortunately sometimes it's just too late. Don't stop him, pack those bags of his, don't shed a tear in his presence, tell him you love him and let him hit the bricks. Let him experience what reality really is about. He may enjoy his new found freedom for awhile, but that will wane soon. It always does. It can be lonely out there. Meanwhile you have a good cry, quit blaming yourself, get up and dust yourself off and get moving! Continue working or find a job. Keep busy and go out and have fun with friends and make new friends along the way as well. You just never know, you may find another man that is better suited to your personality (it happens all the time!)

Answer 2

• There is no easy way to get over the fact your husband cheated on you, but, a good start is to realize there are thousands of women in the same situation as you are and often once they get through the grieving process; anger they move forward in their life and they are stronger women for it and become more independent. The good news is they will, in the future meet the true person they should be with. Start getting out with friends; try to have fun; volunteer even if you work as you meet many great people that way as well as giving back to those less fortunate. Do not dwell on the fact that you may have done something wrong for your husband to cheat on you or you are not young or pretty enough. It is your husband that has the problem and he had the chance to try and work out difficulties in your marriage, but thought he had taken the easy way out. People who cheat often pay a dear price for cheating and once other women know a man has cheated before they are very cautious of such men. Never let any man take your dignity away or make you feel that you are not strong or independent enough to do well in the future because you are in control of your own life. Cheating me are not worth the time to grieve over!

Answer 3

let it happen. im sorry to say but he probably wont change his mind