How can you help a parent understand that their adult child's behavior is the result of narcissism?

Answer 1

I don't think that there's any way to help or even change a narcissistic parent. Both my mother and my sister are narcissistic and I've been their supply target all of my life! I'm 55 years old. It was like living in a constant nightmare, putting up with their insane jealousy, lying, controlling, head games that never stopped. Finally, after working very had to try to please these two women for years and years, I had to get away from my whole family. I never knew what it was like to have total peace of mind until now. They are very twisted people and the reason I was picked as their target was because I have a high standard of the way I treat others with nothing but love and kindness. They haven't a clue on how to be a good person and they hate others who are. I thank goodness that I wasn't the favored child when I was growing up or my chances of being like this N sister would have been high. These people don't even see nor realize how bad they are so how could they begin to recover when they think that they are the perfect, right ones? I believe that if you can see how bad this narcissistict parent is then it's a good sign that you won't allow yourself to become one. Only the individual person themself can determine how they choose to treat others. If you find yourself repeating how they are then it's your decision of what to do to stop it. Saying and doing the right thing to others isn't very hard to do. To hurt another either by actions or with words is totally inhumane and it's usually what drives the narcissistic person. I believe we all know when we are hurting another person, it's just that the N doesn't care. So if you have the knowledge of this then it shouldn't be to hard to correct it. I always treated others nicely but when I was involved with my N mother and sister I was always in some kind of a mess just like they always are in trouble with others! I haven't had any trouble with anyone every since I got away from them, so what does that tell you? They have to have the supply person because this person is used as their scapegoat to take the blame for their actions and to feel better about themselves after they inflick pain on others. Only you can become the person that you want to.

Answer 2

I would sit them down at a computer so that they can read all the signs of Narcissism. That is what "enlightened" me about the narcissist in my life. And just yesterday a friend told me they did this with someone they now recognize as having Asperger's Syndrome. When you read what the signs are and are finding yourself going "check, check, check" as you read the list of signs, it kind of opens your eyes. Maybe this would work for these parents. For me, recognizing that this person in my life is a narcissist has helped me to develop a very good relationship with them, knowing what to expect from them, why they are like they are and allowing me to adjust my own reactions and words and attitude toward them. Knowledge is power and often leads to a much better situation as a whole.