How can you make a family member understand that the treatment an abuser needs to be forced into is a specialized abuser program rather than traditional anger management?

Your family member is not far off the mark at all. Abuse is about deep rooted anger. The abuser is actually frustrated and feels that no matter how hard they work or try society is at fault (or others) for their failures. If this person gets anger management treatment it will certainly help with the abuse. However, you can't force anyone to go to a program. You may get them there if they are a minor, but they don't have to listen. The person has to acknowledge the fact they have a problem in the first place, and abusers simply don't and are in a constant denial mode. It's no different than a drug user or an alcoholic ... if they won't admit they have a problem you can go to all the programs the world has to offer and never get well. If this is a teenager and minor then yes, it would be beneficial and the right thing to do to get them some help. Good luck Marcy Sometimes the person must learn for themselves. Unfortunately, no one can pound a message into another person's head unless the person allows it.