How can you tell if the man you are having an emotional affair with is in love with you if you're both married to someone else but he goes out of his way to see and talk to you?

Answer 1

First off I think it stinks when people cheat. Think how you would feel if your husband was chasing around with another woman. It would hurt! I have no idea what is wrong with people that cheat. If you don't love your spouse then get a separation and file for divorce and then you can see anyone you like. Sometimes people are confused and over-whelmed and meeting someone else can accidentally happen to some degree, but when you know things are getting serious or you want them to get serious it's time to be honest with your spouse. There are just no excuses! You'll never know what this man you are having the affair with truly feels for sure and my policy is ... if he'll cheat on his wife, he'll cheat on you and the same applies to you. The fact is, you are both still with your spouses. It can only come down to one thing .... you two want to have fun, fantasize about being together forever, loving "the chase" (convincing the other person you should have a more permanent relationship) and to hell with the good old comfy slipper of a mate sitting at home trusting in you. It sucks! I was married before and my husband not only cheated on me, but his mistress too. This happens a lot. Cheating isn't something anyone should have to put up with. It's self indulgent, based on ego, and a slap in the face to your mate, not to mention just being plain chicken --it! Also, by cheating it gives the cheater the confidence that if their affair doesn't work out they still have someone at home they can depend on. Nice eh? I know I sound harsh, but when my first husband cheated on me and I found out about it, but still wanted to give him another chance when he begged me for it, I felt like cheating and finding someone that would just love me for who I was, but I never did cheat. Instead I separated and filed for divorce and I moved on with little money, so I'm not buying into it when people say they can't afford to leave their mate. I still had my dignity in place and I do care how I act and what I think. Two wrongs don't make a right. Marcy He has feelings for you. He cares for you. I dont know how much he cares about you though. Obviously you are giving him something his wife isnt. And he is giving you something your husband isnt giving you. Maybe your time, your support, you love, I dont know. Does he tell you he loves you? Tells you there is a future for you? I just know Im in the same situation you are. The man Im involved with is my first love, I have become incontact with again after 22 years. He makes me laugh, I can tell him anything, I tell him my secrets, and we have made incredibe love. I want him in my life more than a daily phone call, but he cant, he wont. He wont hurt his kids. But we have something between us. Some call it wrong, and it probably is, but I cant let him go. I let him go 22 years ago and never stopped thinking of him or loving him. We fight some, not a lot, and at times I feel like its time to say goodbye, but in the end, neither one of us can say goodbye. We have a connection, a deep love, but wont hurt others to make ourselves happy. We are not out for self gratification. We are not out to hurt others. Will he leave his wife for you? Probably not. Most affairs dont turn into divorce and then marry the mistress. Are there children involved? Many times the cheating spouse wants both worlds. He is getting something from the wife and mistress, but he carries guilt and doesnt want to hurt the wife and children. Or maybe he is just bored and needs some excitement in his life. I dont know your circumstances. It maybe like mine, so involved that no one can truly understand how we feel. I didnt just meet him at work, at a bar, I met him years ago, my first love, my first, and because of circumstances out of our control we ended years ago. A painful past. No two sitations are the same. But emotional affairs are affairs. Affairs of the heart. And most emotional affairs turn physical. Good luck to you.