How do children of emotionally distant fathers cope with their emotions and move on to lead productive happy lives?

Answer 1

There are very few fathers that take an interest in especially their sons once the novelty of the baby stage is over (and even during the baby stage some fathers leave total responsibility up to the mothers). If they get along in the earlier years they usually don't once the son is in his teens and often they will butt heads. Fathers can often be closer to their daughters, but, this too can be a problem as the father may be reluctant to give their daughter some freedom in her teen years. Then there are fathers that just feel they are there to help the procedure of impregnating their mate and other than that it's up to the mother to raise the children. Some fathers also feel frightened of the added responsibility of having children and just can't deal with it.

Usually the mother will take over when a father is distant with their children. Most mothers will fight to the bitter end like a wounded grizzly for their children no matter what the circumstances.

When a child is brought up in a household full of arguing, sexual, mental abuse or parents of divorce they don't know how to cope, so if young, their minds go off into a fantasy world, but when they hit their young teen years they are slapped in the face with the reality of the problems within the family. Some children will "act out" by bullying kids smaller than themselves, being cheeky, having no respect towards the mother or any authority figures or getting into trouble with the law. Other children will withdraw into a shell and this can lead to depression with very high consequences to pay such as that child not being able to cope mentally with the situation of rejection, so they turn to drugs of all sorts and sometimes (sad but true) thoughts of suicide or suicide. This of course is not the answer and it only makes matters worse.

The bottom line is, it's not up to the children to deal with this, but either the two parents should grow up and try themselves to deal with their problems or get marriage/parenting counseling and if one is not willing then they need to part company. Parents who stick together for the children's sake often make a large mistake by doing so. It's better to live in peace and harmony with some visitation rights with the estranged parent (if that parents wants to see the child(ren) or the mother must move on and try to make a life for her children.

All human beings need human contact of love, nurturing, kindness and understanding and when any of us don't get it we feel fragmented, don't do well in other aspects of our lives until we can try to deal with the matter at hand and move on. However, children aren't so lucky and they don't have this choice.

When the child is old enough to leave home, then it's probably best they do. They must realize that they are not the problem as to the way the father may feel. All sorts of things can make a father the way he is: ill health, certain medications, drugs, alcohol, and the big one .... often adults of the parents don't realize that their father or mother are just people too and they hurt and have problems that they find hard to cope with. Sometimes when the young adult leaves home and fends for themselves, they could try going back to their father and try to strike up a better friendship. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

Marcy

AnswerI went through this. I know now that I was always searching for a father figure and dated much older men. I did not realise or admit that's what I wanted. I chose men though who were controlling and very twisted where I ended up becoming the mother in these relationships.Now I am with a man my age (hes three years younger) and were are slowly getting to know one another. I feel this is more equal. Hes not in a rush. Before the older men were in a rush as they wanted to own me and control me.But I think if I would have gone to counseeling years ago I wouldn't have been with these men. I am now in counselling. AnswerGood for you! Smart young woman. We can all get into some compromising situations at times and there is always a back door exit.

Good luckMarcy