How do you HELP A CHILD TO over come fear of HIS own shadow?

Answer 1

Many times, a fearful or reticent child is produced by parental pushing. Children differ from one to the next, and some parents are unwilling to accept that their child could be one who is not as willing as others to jump right into situations. Much of a child's fear in every day situations can be alleviated simply by NOT PUSHING the child before s/he is ready. Some parents push or rush children from a very young age, and are impatient, frustrated, or even angry when the child is frightened by the activity. Allow the child time to watch quietly, process how other children are performing the task or whatever it is, and enter the activity at his or her own time, at his or her own pace. The parent could say... nothing at all. Example: A playground task such as climbing the steps and coming down on the slide. The parent/teacher wishes that the fearful child could overcome his or her fear of heights, climb up, and slide down. The helpful approach would be to stand beside the child and say only, "If you want, you can go on the slide." Then say nothing at all, instead, just calmly watch along with the child. If the child does not wish to perform the task that day, try again another day - no upbraiding needed. The parent could simply say, "Maybe another day, hm?" and go on. If the parent has not pushed the child, but the child is afraid of the dark, for example, it's almost the same thing. What's the problem if the child sleeps with a light on in the hall way, for example? It's not as if s/he is already in college and this is humiliating (besides, if that were the case, it would be the child's problem, and not the parent's). Having the child close his eyes while the parent holds his or her hand, and then asking, "What do you see?" when the child says, "Nothing," say, "Right. There's nothing in the dark to be afraid of. Still, I am right here, and you can call out if you're nervous, okay? I will leave the light in the hall on, and that should help, right?" Get the child to agree. S/he may still be nervous, but meeting the child halfway is not wrong, is not coddling. It's allowing the child to come along at his or her own pace. This should be likened to training a puppy that his kennel (cage) doesn't have to be feared: you leave the door open while saying, "Kennel, Spike." When he goes in, you say, "Good boy!" and if he comes right back out, it's fine. After he does that a few times, then you say, "Kennel, boy," and when he goes in, you shut the door behind him. Before he has time to become distressed, you open the door again, saying, "Good job!" Pretty soon, he realizes he's not going to get hurt by going into the kennel, and he can trust you to let him out pretty soon. Eventually, he learns that his kennel is safe, not a prison at all, but more like a playpen. It's the same way with children. If one parent is allowed to force or rush a child into situations that are scary before he or she is ready, it takes a LONG time to undo the damage. Patience. A willingness to allow your child to proceed at his own pace. Resist forcing. Resist anger, ridicule, or temper tantrums of your own if the child refuses the task. These are the tools you will need to help your child find his inner courage. Despite some current notions, children are NOT miniature adults. Children are children - they are immature and need help to learn to cope in the real world. Parents need to recognize this and allow their kids to be kids.