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First of all, you can't "change", so don't waste time struggling with that. If you can accept yourself as gay, coping with the social problems gets a lot easier.

The social problems are very different for kids and adults. There are support groups for both, but those for young people may be hard to find in smaller communities. The problems are a lot easier to deal with in you have a friend or two to talk with. And sometimes, the best friend may not even be gay.

You are more than your sex life. You want to be the kind of person people respect outside of the bedroom: honest, courteous, helpful, a "stand-up guy" (do people still use that phrase?) -- that sort of thing.

You want to know facts about being gay. And chances are, a lot of what you think you know is wrong. Read up on it. Get involved with gay rights advocacy groups and social groups. When people who know less than you do start spouting off, counter with facts. If you don't know the answer, find out. (Don't put yourself at risk, of course -- use common sense.)

Most important: keep reminding yourself that you have a right to Be, and to Be Who You Are.

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Q: How do you cope with the social problems if you are gay and do not want to change?
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