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Hold your ground when Necessary, but avoid completely if/when possibleMy first-hand experience: I have to say ignoring her if you can, but when you live with the person it is very difficult My husband went to Iraq for a year so i was forced to move home with my parents and younger sister again, due to medical as well as financial reasons. Let me tell you this year has been hell for my parents and myself.

My younger sister is a narcissist as well as a slob and everything that goes along with it. she leaves her used tampons/pads unwrapped on the sink next to the toilet (and i have to share that bathroom with her : / ), and her room is a mound of dirty clothes, you can not see her floor nor her shelves b/c of the mess...there is an example of how dirty she is.

she is a very two-faced person. one second she is nice the next second she is calling my mom a stupid b!tch, my dad a heartless a$$hole, and myself a heartless b!tch and telling me i am worthless and to go to he!!. also i find she likes to use the line to me "just because your married doesn't make you an adult so stop acting like one" in a snide tone of voice. she takes great joy in pleasure in acting as though she is superior to everyone in the family, but me especially. she is a ridiculous person and she will snap at you if you tell her nicely to put her tampon in the garbage. oh, she is also a compulsive lier to top it off.

there is no reasoning with her what so ever. she does not see truth, she turns everything you say into something to make you sound like your inferior to her.

i struggle with ignoring her because one, i have to live with the nut job, and two i do not put up with her when she says such hurtful things to my parents so in turn i get turned into the bad guy.

My best advice for people who have to live with a narcissist is to: not scream and yell because they take advantage of that, keep your voice calm and firm when confronting the selfish person as well as directing the conversation to them and saying "this is about you, not me"

An argument will go two ways:

A.) they accept the sentence this is about them and not about yourself and chose to humor you and talk/argue it through

B.) they deflect and make it your problem because narcissists do not like to accepting any responsibility for whatever is happening.

just remember that most arguments with the narcissistic person will not end in an agreement, or if it does it is short lived because they always revert back to their self absorbed selves. also do not scream or yell at them, keep your voice calm and firm, otherwise that will ALWAYS be used against you and call you a child. that and no one listens or takes a person seriously if they cant control their temper.

One last thing; do not communicate with them by phone via text, or email or facebook because we all know how they always have the last word and like to post every angry/depressing thought on the web for the world to see.

AnswerThe only thing that will bring you any peace is ignoring her. I know!

I just wanted to add what was said before. RUN!! But it's not easy in a large family. There have been years and years of pain before I realized what the deal was. I wouldn't wish a narcissistic sibling or parent or spouse on anyone. If I would have gone to therapy 20 years ago when I was half crazy; it wouldn't have taken half a century to finally get that V8. Knowing what she is now has given me so much peace; at least to know that I wasn't 'crazy, inferior, not loved as much' whatever. Now we are trying to protect the next generation; because the child is just like the mom; and has already created havoc. But is the child a pawn of the mom? sometimes I think. which is really sad. My Mother too; and father have been victimized by this sister; so that they have believed a lot of untruths throughout our lives about others in the family; and have treated them differently because of it. The outrageous lies to cover things they have said; the contradictions; the absolute MEANNESS!

Run!Stay completely away from her and don't tell her anything about yourself or what's going on in your life. She can be as sweet as honey and it's usually to find out anything that she can about you. When she does she will just turn anything she finds out around to her advantage to hurt you. My N sister will even use my poor 76 year old mother(she's her supplier of anyone this N sister wants to hurt) to come to my home to find out anything that she can about me. She will make up the most ridiculous untruths about me. Not knowing what's going on in your life almost kills the N people. I have to be very careful of what I say about anything to do with my life so it doesn't get back to her and can't be used to turn others againist me or to hurt me. I know because I've been through this crap all of my life. I finally had to stop any contact with my family because of this sick sister.
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โˆ™ 2011-01-24 20:11:22
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Q: How do you deal with a narcissistic sister?
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