Asked in Mental HealthCheatingBreakupsEmotions
How do you deal with your emotions during a divorce?
August 22, 2009 2:48PM
Most of the time divorce can be one nasty mess even if there isn't children, property or monies involved. I've been divorced and even though I knew it was the right thing to do it still hurts and at times can make the person filing for divorce feel like they were all wrong and should have done things differently. All sorts of strange ideas go through a person's mind when dealing with divorce. Some couples have a roaring fight going on regarding who gets what; custody of children and money. It becomes one upmanship and immature before it gets better. The best thing to do is get on with life. Start seeing friends, get out socially and you can still date (but not marry) while getting a divorce. Let the lawyers do their jobs because that's what they're being paid for. For the children involved, it is hard for them to make choices. The parents must try not to put too much pressure onto the kids. Because as much heartbreak and suffering it is for the adults, the kids and younger, making them suffer twice as much as you. Don't expect children to choose one parent over the other. Bargaining and bribing doesn't work, kids can see straight through that. Kids make decisions about what kind of cheeseburger they want at McDonald's not which parent they want to live with and connect with the most.
The children go through a lot with parents dating as well. Kids can often feel crammed and a girlfriend/boyfriend will make them feel worthless and unwanted, and will not come out into the open about their feelings with you because they will be ashamed in front of this person.
Everyone who is involved has friends, and they take sides, whether you like it or not. If they're not on you're side, don't totally hate them, we're only human, and it's only natural for us to talk about people getting a divorce, and chances are, the person who gossiped about you will most likely got divorced as well. More than 50% of the world are experiencing divorces, it's a tough time, and everyone's trying to keep their marriages together, holding onto that last little thread of hope and the past. But all the messy stuff will be over soon and then it can hopefully be back to normal. Whether you have kids or not, you're the one who started the fight who ended the marriage or not, or whether you're the friend that loves a gossip, i wish you all luck, divorce is one of life's many mysteries. It gets more frequent by the second and more fierce by the minute.
But it will all be OK in the end, and if you have children, just remember that they're suffering twice as much as you.