How do you explain to a boyfriend the difference between being a wife and just being a girlfriend because he does not believe in marriage and says if he loves you then why should he have to marry you?

Answer 1

Unfortunately, there are many who believe that marriage is just a piece of paper and means nothing. Being married under the eyes of God is basically proving how much you love that person, and making a commitment. It personally makes me nervous when a man/woman would balk at using excuses as to why he/she doesn't believe in marriage and I consider it a flaw in their personality as "I don't really want to commit to much in my life" and therefore, if you don't how do you build character in yourself? Some men think by getting married it takes total personal freedom from them. They don't realize that by living with a woman, if he is a mature man, he has commitments to her whether they are married or not. These types of men (or women) are not honest with themselves. Why don't they just say, "I'm afraid of failure in a marriage; I don't want to commit because I may change my mind later, or, I'm selfish and I want to come and go as I please." That's more to the truth. There is nothing wrong with staying single as long as the partner you are with agrees to this arrangement. Since divorce has soared upward in leaps and bounds it has frightened a lot of people and there are more young people not getting married until they are in their 30s. Still, whatever God one believes in, I still stand proud in the fact I have a belief system, can promise a greater being than myself that I will love and honor my partner (if I get the same in return) and to commit to each other is simply saying "I love you and I don't want to live without you." I was married before and divorced in 3 1/2 years. I had a rough time with that one as I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I tried my best, and it takes two to tango and it was obvious my ex wanted no part of it. I have met a wonderful man and we've been married 33 years. We have fought, grown angry with each other, become frustrated, but, we always make up (the best part) and grown stronger by figuring out our problems together. We respect each other a great deal. We are very much in love and we will be until the day we die. I find marriage no less exciting than going on a world travel adventure. If you want thrills, get married! Today it's not just about a "wife and a husband." Since both partners usually have to work, it's just plain old respect. If the wife is home first she can start dinner, but, when the husband comes home there is no reason he can't pitch in once in awhile. If a wife is home, not working, then there is no reason she shouldn't keep the house clean and cook. Society seems to spit the word "housewife" out of their mouths like it was a disease instead of looking at it as "a job of all jobs." Keeping a home, raising kids is the hardest job anyone will ever have. It's up to the husband to respect her enough to know she is tired from housecleaning, rushing the kids here and there and playing mother, nurse and psychologist with her kids all week long and it would nice if he would take her out to dinner and a movie on occasion or buy her some flowers. That's respect! In turn, wives need to respect their husbands, and working or not, if he's working over-time then the wife, out of respect should have dinner ready for him and vice-versa. No manual comes with being a good wife or husband and the young couple has to struggle through mistakes and learn from them. There will be arguments and misunderstandings and perhaps even the odd separation, but, if we hang on and really love that person the end result is extremely rewarding. Don't you settle for less. Tell him "If you think you're getting the milk for free without buying the cow, then think again!" He's chicken, and he's trying to get through life on a free ride. Don't accept anything less than what you want. Good luck Marcy