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It all depends on the situation. If the "abuser" is the boss and owner, you can either put up with it or leave. If it's a co-worker in a big company, get the abuse documented and take your complaint to a supervisor or manager.

2006-07-16 13:38:05
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After being in a verbally abusive relationship does the victim often become the abuser in her next relationship?

It does often happen that people will learn how to get their way through verbal aggression, from their own experiences of being verbally abused. Life is an endless learning experience, but sometimes people learn the wrong things. Answer I think it COULD happen but I think it would be the exception and not the rule. Victims in these kinds of situations are usually not abusive types of people - that's why they are victims. If it is an adult who grew up in a verbally abusive environment they may be the victim for a while and then finally snap and turn the tables and become the abuser but I think in most circumstances the victim would not become the abuser in the next relationship.

Should a woman stay in a verbally abusive relationship?

Nope. Because she she might get hurt even more. And the abuser might think it is ok to hurt them because they won't mind. Once they hit you, you should get out of that relationship.

Does the abuser really love the person being abused?

No the abuser does not love that person they love controlling and abusing that person and that's it. It is difficult for there to be love in an abusive relationship. The abuser can not truly give love or receive it because he or she is mentally disabled. The abusive personality is a mental disorder and the abuser needs to seek psychiatric help. An abusive relationship is not a healthy one and no matter what the abuser says, he or she can not love you, it is obsession and control that drives an abusive partner.

Is your boyfriend abusive?

Many BFs, or boyfriends, are not abusive. If a boyfriend is abusive, the girl should leave the relationship and file charges. Do not keep going back to an abuser.

Can a verbal abuser be arrested?

No I dont think so, but if he verbally abuses you then maybe its time fo you to get out of the relationship.

Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if with a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?

It is highly unlikely that man who does not have an abusive personality will become an abuser if their partner grew up in an abusive home and refuses help. Good men know they should never hit a woman which in some cases can lead to male abuse by a woman. The stress of being around an abusive person be it verbally or physical abuse is bound to have effects on the non abusive partner, but most men will only take so much and have the opportunity of leaving the relationship.

Why do abusive relationships exist?

It exist because the person being hurt stays in the relationship thinking the abuser will stop. Face reality this person has issues and they will not just up and change. I would advise anyone who is in an abusive relationship whether physical,emotional or verbal get out while you still can, because the abuser is not going to change magically.

What is a good attention getter for an abusive relationship?

call the cops on the abuser, tell the abuser, and when he/she make just stares at you laugh like a maniac. You will be the center of attention in ur bf/gfs eyes.

When does a court give an abuser custody of children?

When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determined to be abusive.When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determinedto be abusive.When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determinedto be abusive.When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determinedto be abusive.

Can a verbal abuser be forced into an abuser program if the alternative is making his family suffer for the rest of their lives because he has no concept of respect for them?

If someone is verbally abusive to their family than the family can seek counciling for theirself and the abuser. Other alturnitive is to kick the abuser out of the house. If they are under 18 than the parents could talk to the school councelor about their behavior at school and they may recommend help.

What is the primary motive of the abuser in an abusive relationship?

For the most part, those that show abusive behavior are reflectant of how they were treated during their childhood. Thus abusive behavior as adults is not only satisfactory because the abuser in a twisted way can identify with the abused, but also is a show of dominance and superiority for someone who, for the majority of their life as a child, were inferior to their caregivers.

Why does a woman reconcile after three attempts to leave an abusive relationship?

Because the abuser makes the victim feel like they are and will be nothing without them. Its all about brainwashing, and making the victim fell dependant upon the abuser. No one should EVER stay in an abusive relationship, not even for the kids. That is the worst mistake someone could make. Abuser prey on the weak minded, however no one has to be weak minded, they ust have to learn how to survive on their own, and surviving on your own is possible.

Can get an answer from an abuser if you ask them reason for their abusive nature?

No, because if they are still being abusive, they see the world from another perspective. If you are expecting that this will happen or that you can convince someone that they are abusive, chances are that you won't see it happen. About all you can do is to call them on their behavior, saying how it makes you feel. A good book is Patricia Evan's The Abusive Relationship.

How does a guy feel after a breakup from an abusive relationship and he is the abuser?

he feels horrible and his self esteem is low because the only reason why he beat you down was because he was insecure

Can avoiding an abusive argument be giving the abuser approval for his abusive behavior?

I can speak from experience but no two relationships are the same. I agree this could spark problems for the abuser to handle but if it truly is a violent relationship then i would not advise aggravating the situation unless my bags were packed and the engine running. Most abusive relationships are built on intimidation and control by standing up for yourself by reading and flaunting articles about abuse could cause a bad situation to become worse or or a week relationship to fall apart.

Move out and continue the relationship?

do not continue an abusive relationship once you are strong enough to leave... my daughter divorced her emotionally abusive husband who molested her children,,, in less then 3 months she is seeing the pediphile again and isolateing herself from her family and forcing the children to be with this man again... if you go back into an abusive relationship of any kind your the same as the abuser, mayber even worse... do not be a fool or victimize your self again... don't do it.............................

How can one stop a narcissistic father from verbally abusing his four year old son?

That wouldn't be easy. If he is really an abuser (rather than someone who just loses his temper sometimes) then this would be incredibly difficult. He is verbally abusive in order to establish control. Try talking to your son and see how he is; see what effect this is having on him.

How do you get out of a verbally abusive relationship when the abuser is a cop?

Well if you're afraid no one will believe you get a little camera hide it somewhere and if he starts beating you up you will have proof. Then take it to the cops and he will go to jail and you move somewhere far away and start a new life. Verbal abuse can be as harmful as physical abuse and should not be tolerated by anyone, especially someone who represents law enforcement. But you know that already. The question is, would you stay with him if he weren't abusive? If you love him and want the relationship to get better, perhaps you could think about couples counseling.

What activities describe an abuser and an abusive relationship?

Check out this website for some good information. Just click or copy and paste into your address bar.

How do you know for sure hes an abuser?

you can tell after any dispute whether it be an argument or a physical fight.If at thee end you feel hurt,down,disrespected,or are in an abusive relationship

Is a person not tolerant enough if they end a verbally abusive relationship and the abuser says that he never argues with his new girlfriend?

Situation, he says she says. This kind of behavior can only be improved through therapy. I don't believe this person was in the disposition to do so. This person can say whatever he pleases, but if you didn't like how he treated you...there is no point staying in that sort of relationship. You are not wrong, don't worry. Good for you, you'll find someone better.

Why do people stay in abusive relationship?

Several different reasons. One could be because the abuser has such a hold on the abused that they stay because they think that the abuser is the only person that will want them. There is also fear that if the abused left the abuser would hunt them down and make them pay for leaving in the first place. If you asked 10 different abused people why they stay (stayed) in they're abusive relationships I can almost promise you'll get 10 different answers. In some cases the abused person believes that she/he can fix the abuser, or for complex reasons might even feel guilt about leaving the abuser.

What is abusive relationship?

An abusive relationship has a broad meaning, it could be physical, mental, or emotional. And it can be all three. Physical abuse is when someone hits you and it is visable to the eyes. Mental and emotional abuse is harder to detect and sometimes you don't even realize it until it has zapped you of you energy and your self-esteem. I have lived in an emotional and mental abusive relationship for 21 years so I know the signs. Trying to get out of such a relationship is harder because the abuser tries to make you think you are the crazy one. I have tried on a number of occasions to leave the relationship only to get sucked in by his promises of change. I hope you are not in an abusive relationship and if you are you run and never look back.

Should you go back to an Ex?

If the ex was psychologically or physically abusive, you should not resume the relationship. Oftentimes, an abusive person will break up with a partner and then will attempt to resume the relationship because the abuser wants to continue to control that person. An abusive person will wait for his/her former partner to get over the breakup and get on with his/her life, oftentimes the former victim has a new significant other. The abuser contacts the victim, disrupts the victims life again and demands that the victim give up new friends, jobs and any other independence that has been attained. This is all in exchange for resuming a relationship with the abuser. When the victim complies, the abuser is on his best behavior for a while. Then the cycle of abuse starts again once he has his partner dependent and socially isolated. Breaking up and reconciliation with occur as many times as the victim will allow it to happen.

Why would someone who has gotten out of an abusive relationship continue to see her abuser?

I would love to know the answer to that too. I think it is because they don't think they are strong enough to be without that person. That is part of the abuse the abuser uses. It takes two to tango - and an equal number to sustain a long-term abusive relationship. The abuser and the abused form a bond, a dynamic, and a dependence. Expressions such as "shared psychosis", "follies a deux" and the "Stockholm Syndrome" capture facets - two of a myriad - of this danse macabre. It often ends fatally. It is always an excruciatingly painful affair.