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After being in a verbally abusive relationship does the victim often become the abuser in her next relationship?
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
It does often happen that people will learn how to get their way through verbal aggression, from their own experiences of being verbally abused. Life is an endless learning experience, but sometimes people learn the wrong things. Answer I think it COULD happen but I think it would be the exception and not the rule. Victims in these kinds of situations are usually not abusive types of people - that's why they are victims. If it is an adult who grew up in a verbally abusive environment they may be the victim for a while and then finally snap and turn the tables and become the abuser but I think in most circumstances the victim would not become the abuser in the next relationship.
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
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Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if with a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?
It is highly unlikely that man who does not have an abusive personality will become an abuser if their partner grew up in an abusive home and refuses help. Good men know they should never hit a woman which in some cases can lead to male abuse by a woman. The stress of being around an abusive person be it verbally or physical abuse is bound to have effects on the non abusive partner, but most men will only take so much and have the opportunity of leaving the relationship.
Will a verbally abusive man become physically abusive?
not always but some time they can be both
Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if abused by a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?
it is possible
Type of relationship that can become abusive?
I am sure there are lots of ways a normal relationship can become abusive but there is one that sticks in my mind: A serious relationship. It is because if you are mainly the girl in a relationship (it is mostly the girl playing the victim and the guy playing the abuser) you are more into love than he is so therefore you push yourself into that serious relationship. As he knows you pushed yourself into the relationship he thinks he can control you now and since he knows it is serious he thinks that you won't run away because you love him.
Can avoiding an abusive argument be giving the abuser approval for his abusive behavior?
I can speak from experience but no two relationships are the same. I agree this could spark problems for the abuser to handle but if it truly is a violent relationship then i would not advise aggravating the situation unless my bags were packed and the engine running. Most abusive relationships are built on intimidation and control by standing up for yourself by reading and flaunting articles about abuse could cause a bad situation to become worse or or a week relationship to fall apart.
Why was he trying not to be abusive but he was?
Men who are abusive generally have learned this from the environment in which they grew up. Some men have a short fuse and blast off with either verbally abusive words or they become physically abusive with their partner. Some men know deep inside it is wrong, but don't know how to get help and most men refuse to seek psychological counseling because it makes them feel weak and not masculine. If he refuses to get help then you have the power to get out of the abusive relationship.
How do you know when you've recovered from a past abusive relationship?
Barring incurring amnesia, it is impossible for a past abusive relationship to not have some effect. Definitions of recovery are, then, not absolute and are thus subjective. Some (but not all) abusive relationships create serious problems for the victim: nightmares, depression, possibly suicidal thoughts or irrational feelings of "the relationship will get better, (the abuser) and I will be happy if I become a better lover for them" that cannot be shaken, etc. Some might define having recovered, then, as no longer being plagued by these serious problems.
Is it possible that the role of the abuser and the abused change in a relationship and if so is there a chance for those people to survive together?
Abuse victims can, in retaliation, become abusive towards their tormentor. Most certainly they do change. How can they not? With an abuser it is all about power and control and used correctly it's a wonderful tool in business, but most humans don't know how to master this and become straight abusers. No, there is no hope of surviving together and I wouldn't want to stay with anyone that abused me mentally or physically. Abusers are the last to know that they have an abusive personality, so they will not seek out help and become more enraged if it's suggested to them. I would move on from such a relationship and don't waste the rest of your life.
How do you help your boyfriend if he has become verbally and physically abusive?
Communicating with your abuser is an art form. It is called "walking on eggshells". If you think the relationship is getting emotionally abusive no need to talk...best to walk and do it fast. Once the abuse begins in the cycle, it is hard to get out. The longer the cycle has been spinning the more difficult to leave.
Why do you hit people like your ex hit you and take on their behaviors even though you totally believe they are wrong. How is it that their behaviors become your behaviors that you try to get rid of?
First off 'ex' means the relationship is over! You should not even be near this person who is abusive and it's time you moved on in your life. In relationships where one is abusive it is human instinct to protect oneself and some abused victims will either stay and take that abuse silently; fight along with the abuser or leave. If you decide to stay in the relationship and have the strength to stand up to the abuser then you sink to the bottom of the barrel because you are fighting with survival instincts. Get out of this relationship!
How an abusive parent affect a child?
Data shows that a child who is abused will in turn become an abuser later in life. The life of an abused child is affected his/her entire life.
If an emotionally abused woman stands up to her abusive partner is she in turn being abusive as her partner says she is?
Only if the woman started the abusive in the first place. If not she's just sicking up for herself. If abusive partner is hit, yell ect. first then the woman is being abusive, but if the partner is being abusive first, the woman has every right to do it back. You are not at all being abusive back defending yourself! However, it seems that people who are in abusive relationships tend to mimic the behavior of the abuser--therefore in defending yourself you may find yourself doing the same behavior as the abuser. If you know this to be the case, than it is possible you yourself are being abusive. Abusers seldom change. The best thing for the spouse of an abuser is to sit down alone and make a decision as to whether they are going to stay or leave. In most cases the healthiest choice is to leave. Abuse is about control and the abuser will fight with everything he/she has to keep that control. It is often misunderstood that the abuser is a bully, in fact, the abuser is the weak one as they feel out of control in their own environment. In order to survive (in their own minds) they need to control what is around them. Unless the abuser is willing to seek out professional help (and most don't unless our judicial system forces this issue) then the spouse should leave this situation or they will lose all identity of who they are themselves. So, my answer to you is not to fight the abuser. You won't win! As the other poster pointed out you will usually get sucked into a void where you may become absusive yourself (verbally) because of the frustrating circumstances with which you are dealing with. When I say "leave" I know this is a very hard decision to make. Sometimes the fear factor comes into it for the victim and they often wonder how they will manage on their own. If children are involved this is difficult as well, but by staying in an abusive relationship you are teaching your children to become abusive as they start to grow and are soon set out in society. There are many groups out there today that are more than willing to accommodate your needs and to help you set a structure in your new life's endeavors. Good luck Marcy You realize this is a typical self-defence tactic of abusers? "I'm not the one with the problem, YOU ARE!" Typical..... Please read up on abusers and their tactics that they use to keep your under control. And remember, it's a losing battle with these people, pick up your stuff and leave. They never ever change. NEVER. A friend who knows how you feel
