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Hon, I can bet my bottom dollar this guy is already cheating on you, so the only fear you should have at this point is getting away from him and becoming an independent young woman. You don't need him! There are Abused Women's Centers around, or, if he's not violent, just pack your bags when he's not around and move in with a relative or friend. This guy is a loser and the sooner you get rid of him the better. Abusive people are about control and they seldom change and 99% of them never seek professional help for their abusive behavior. Good luck Marcy

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โˆ™ 2006-04-25 04:38:38
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Q: How do you get over being afraid to leave your abusive relationship because you know he will cheat?
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Should you stay in an abusive relationship or should you go now?

You should definitely go. An abusive relationship is unhealthy for you both physically and emotionally. If you continue to stay with that abusive person, you will more than likely end up being attracted to more abusive people in the future. In fact some abusive relationships can lead to suicide and/or being murdered.

What are the possible reasons a woman would seek out a relationship where she is being controlled and why would she view that as love?

Usually women do this because it is all they know. Many women will pick partners that are abusive because they've had abusive fathers, etc.

Can get an answer from an abuser if you ask them reason for their abusive nature?

No, because if they are still being abusive, they see the world from another perspective. If you are expecting that this will happen or that you can convince someone that they are abusive, chances are that you won't see it happen. About all you can do is to call them on their behavior, saying how it makes you feel. A good book is Patricia Evan's The Abusive Relationship.

Why should women get out of abusive relationships?

Women should get out of an abusive relationship because it may escalate from emotional abuse to physical or sexual abuse, sometimes even murder. No one deserves to be abused and to stay in an abusive relationship is not worth it. If you are being abused, please leave and find help, especially if you have children, you need to protect them too.

How can you tell when your in a abusive relationship?

the way to tell if you are in an abusive relationship is if your partner is forcing you to do things that are harmful to your saftey, or dangerous. like things you dont want to do. so remember, being forceful, or hurting one another in a relationship is abusive. even if it is the smallest thing like a hit on the head becasue you said no, its still abusive..hope this helped

What do I do when my girlfriend gets abusive?

if your girlfriend is getting abusive. then just end the relationship; because once a person starts to be abusive towards their significant other than they are not going to stop. It may be because she likes the feeling of power that she gets from hitting you or that she comes from an angry backround. Either way it is best to just stay away from her until she stops being abusive.

Why do abusive relationships exist?

It exist because the person being hurt stays in the relationship thinking the abuser will stop. Face reality this person has issues and they will not just up and change. I would advise anyone who is in an abusive relationship whether physical,emotional or verbal get out while you still can, because the abuser is not going to change magically.

Who are the victims of an abusive relationship?

The person being abused and any children who are there to witness it are victims.

How do you get out of a abusive relationship after being in for about 30 or more years.?

Getting out of an abusive relationship is the same, whether you've been together 30 days or 30 years. Please read the info in the link I provided below.

How many women a year die from being in an abusive relationship?

according to surveys and newspapers approximatly an average of 72 women die from abusive relationships and rape.

Does the abuser really love the person being abused?

No the abuser does not love that person they love controlling and abusing that person and that's it. It is difficult for there to be love in an abusive relationship. The abuser can not truly give love or receive it because he or she is mentally disabled. The abusive personality is a mental disorder and the abuser needs to seek psychiatric help. An abusive relationship is not a healthy one and no matter what the abuser says, he or she can not love you, it is obsession and control that drives an abusive partner.

How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship?

Well easy, are you being called names (not jokingly) or hit, punched ect? OR being told you have to prove your love by... or you might be consistantly being yelled at...

How do you get out of a mentally abusive relationship?

Sometimes it may be hard to get out of an abusive relationship. This is because violent relationships often go in cycles. After a person is violent, he or she may apologize and promise never to hurt you again, and even say that they will work on the relationship. It may be a while before that person acts violently again. These ups and downs can make it hard to leave a relationship.It's hard to leave someone you care about. You may be scared or ashamed to admit that you are in an abusive relationship, or you may be simply scared to be alone. You may be afraid that no one will believe you, or that your friend or partner will hurt you more if you tell someone. Whatever the reasons, leaving an unhealthy relationship is hard but something you must do, and you'll need help to do it.Abusive relationships are very unhealthy for you. You might have trouble sleeping, or have headaches or stomach aches. You might feel depressed, sad, anxious, or nervous. You may also blame yourself, feel guilty, and have trouble trusting other people in your life. Staying in an abusive relationship can hurt your self-confidence and make it hard for you to believe in yourself. If you are being physically abused, you can be the victim of injuries that could cause permanent damage. You should definitely leave the relationship if you are getting hurt, if you have bruises or pain, or if you are being threatened with physical harm in any way.Remember that the most important reason to leave an unhealthy relationship is because you deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy and fun.

How can you stop being overly paranoid and obsessive when you get a boyfriend because you're afraid he will cheat on you?

You should really take time for yourself and sort these feelings out before you consider being in a relationship. Counselling helps.

If your husband is being abusive and you tell him that you're going to kill him if he doesn't let go are you being abusive?

People tend to say things in anger. Since your husband is abusive you should consider going to a Woman's Abuse House to find help and learn tools to cope. No one has the right to abuse the other. Your relationship is toxic and you are in control of your life and not your husband. To tell him you are going to kill him is a serious accusation and when you get to this point it's time for you to leave this abusive relationship.

Why would an individual in an abuse relationship try to hide the abuse?

if they had low self asteem, and their partner abused them, they think that they will never find love again, so they stay in the loveless relationship because they are afraid of being alone.

What does the verse in Ecclesiastes 3-5 mean?

Sometimes being nice can hurt someone. If someone is in an abusive relationship, for example, it may not be the right thing to be soft on them by sympathizing. Sometimes as a real friend you have to be tough on them until they get out of the relationship, because you know it's best for them.

Are you being emotioinally abused if he doesn't like any of your friends and you live near his family and rarely see yours because he disapproves of them and he doesn't trust your values?

No! Just because your relationship is not a good one does not make it "abusive" it just means it is not working. It seems that the rules are being made by only one person in the relationship and if you don't like that then either claim your right to equality or change the relationship. Don't be a victim or fall on the crutch of being abused.

How can once being in an abusive relationship affect future relationships Distrust of people how will the past abuse affect your lifestyle any unhealthy signs to watch for?

Some one who does not understand BDSM posted "being into bdsm is an unhealthy sign" this is a lie. All studies of people into BDSM have shown that most people into BDSM are happy normal people who just have kinks to there life. Most people who are into abusive relationships never get into BDSM relationships. If someone is into BDSM and there is also a abusive relationship going on all you need to do is look for the normal signs of a abusive relationship. Most BDSM couples for the most part have happy and healthy relationships but have a relationship that looks more like the idealized ones from the 1950's and may add play that would look abusive from the outside but is truly not. What I would tell people is take time to talk to both parties and look for the signs of an abusive relationship.

How can you tell if a person is being threated in an abusive relationship?

they will cringe, sort of, when around their spouse and be very timid when doing something so as not to anger him/her.

If you are being verbally and physically abused what can you do if he thinks it's your fault because you push his buttons?

Blaming the victim, or partner is one of the many ways the abusive person uses to confuse the victim and/or to make it "seem" acceptable. Please read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans and visit for more information.

How can you tell if someone wants you to move in with them just because they are afraid of being alone?

If someone wants to move in with you 'just because they are afraid of being alone', I would expect them to talk a lot about their anxieties. Often such people are obsessive about their fears, and it's not something they can easily hide. I'd also expect a certain lack of warmth in the relationship. I hope someone can expand this brief answer.

Is brave not being afraid or being afraid but doing it anyway?

Bravery is doing something your believe in. Its considered bravery because theres always going to be people against you, yet your not afraid yo speak up.

Why are guys afraid to tell girls that they like them?

Because they're afraid of a negative reaction or they're afraid of being embarrassed. But some guys aren't like that.

Why does one person in a relationship cheat on the other?

Because they are not being fulfilled in the relationship.