How do you get over someone you miss and love if you think about them throughout the day and you shared so much and the pain is only getting worse?

Answer 1

Many people associate grief (and that is what you are going through right now) with only death of a loved one. That's not true and we can grieve over a broken relationship, losing ones home, pet, etc. It's a shock to the system and with each person we come in contact with there is some form of relationship whether it be an acquaintance, friend, lover, brother, sister, parents. That's why the word "homesick" comes into play. You actually miss your family and friends, and if one friend moves away then you feel empty inside and it takes awhile to get use to them not being around.

I am sorry you are hurting so bad, but there is some solace in the fact almost all of us on this board have had a lost love. It's OK to have some bad days over your break-up, but don't linger too long and start getting out there and either volunteering (when you give of yourself to others in need you feel a whole lot better) and start seeing your male friends a little more. Perhaps plan a trip for the spring or summer with one of your best buddies so you'll have something to look forward too. The pain will lessen in time even though right now you feel your heart has been pulled from your body.

I was married before to not so nice a guy. I gave my all, but he not only took my kindness and love and squashed it, he cheated on me. I thought I would never love again, but I did! I went and lived on my own to find out who I was and what I was about, and then I was introduced to a wonderful guy, who has now been my husband for 33 years. I thank God every day, that I didn't stay with my first husband and moved on with my life or I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband who is not only my lover, but my best friend.

Hang in there. It does get better. Don't sit around too long because NO ONE is worth giving up your way of life.

Good luck Marcy

In addition to what has been said above by Marcy, I'd like to add that a healthier way to look at a breakup is this: what is the wisdom to be gained from the end of this relationship? See this as a great opportunity to get to know yourself better. Is there anything you did in the relationship that you wish you'd done differently? Don't sit in regret! Make a promise to yourself to improve those things. Is there anything in the relationship that you put up with from your partner that wasn't empowering? Don't beat yourself up over this either. Instead promise yourself that you wont let yourself be treated like that again. Go within yourself, feel all the loss & hurt & allow it & accept: that is the only way to truly heal. Everyone has been rejected at some point in their life, so learning to accept rejection (so you can also be respectful when rejecting another) is part of growing & maturing.