How do you get the person being abused to recognize that they are in a bad situation?

Answer 1

I can tell you from my own experience of being in an abusive relationship (being the abused), that the person who is in the relationship cannot see. I knew something wasn't "right" about the relationship, and I was told time and time again by my abusive boyfriend that if I changed things would get better. But they didn't. My friends and family kept telling me that I was in a "horrible" relationship, but being full of low self esteem and believing his lies, I stood up for him...telling my family and friends you don't know the side of him I do. Problem is...his charming side was part of the abusive cycle.

Go to different websites about abuse, counselors and ask for information...give it to your friend...and pray they will open up and receive help to get out. It takes A LOT of support from family and friends to stay out for good!

You can't.

You can tell them, but they won't believe you. Or if they do, it'll only last up until the next "honeymoon phase".

It's as simple as that. It's taken me five years to recognise it, but believe me: the sooner you come to the realisation that there isn't *anything* you can do to open their eyes, the better off you'll *both* be.

You can be there for them-- be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, help out wherever you can-- but trying to do any more than that will only physically and emotionally exhaust you, and help the abuser to drive a wedge between you and your friend.

I spent five long years trying to make my best friend see what was happening, and trust me-- it's not a road you want to go down.

Some abuse victims are emotionally, financially, legally, or socially invested in their abusive relationship. It is impossible to get through to them and "enlighten" them because they are in denial.

Continually telling the victim the obvious simply pushes him/her closer to the abuser and further apart from those who really care.The anger that the victim should have for the abuser is displayed on those who care.Never , ever, under any circumstances say anything disparaging about the abuser to the victim.This strengthens the abusers position by having the victim believe there is a witch hunt after him/her.So by trying to tell the victim of the abuse merely strengthens the strangle hold by the abuser.Instead, when talking to the victim, try and get the victim to reflect upon themselves, by getting them to challenge their own thoughts.When the victim is having a angry outburst ask "where's this coming from without any reference to the abuser.When the victim isn't allowed to do something tell them how sad you are that they cannot be there.Always show love, empathy and no judging to the victim.This is the very thing the abuser cannot stand, love caring and happiness.The victim will know they have a safe haven in the carers and the abuser will try to isolate the victim from the carers. The abuser will turn the heat up on the carers and a campaign of character assasination will begin on behalf of the abuser.By holding your ground under all circumstances and not falling for the trick of being impatient to rescue the victim will slowly break down the desrie of the abuser.Remember, the victim took some time to be brainwashed by the abuser and to undo it will also take time and the patience of a saint.This is the method I used to resuce my son from a demon.It's not easy as it nearly broke me as well as my son.