How do you get your girlfriend to lose weight and not break up?

Answer 1

Answer

You have to decide for yourself if her weight is a problem for you in the relationship. Basically, this is one of those things that people have to learn: the other person has a right to live their life as they will; you cannot make people lose weight or any other thing that would be good for them by making it part of the deal of staying together, but you might inspire them... Amazingly, as we grow older, some of these things (weight, health issues) take a backseat to the caring, love, sex, and companionship within the relationship. The difference is, by then, we recognize their value.

ANSWER 2 - From a guy's point of view, who has been exactly where you have been:

As the previous answerer rightly said, when you grow older physical attraction takes a backseat and love is based on other things, however when you are both young looks do matter, at least for a large number of guys. Why sacrifice on the opportunity of being with a pretty girl at least during the prime of your life. Looks are anyway going to deteriorate, and character is what will remain; but there is nothing wrong in wanting BOTH good looks and good character in a girlfriend/boyfriend.

I am 31 years old and my girlfriend of 2 years had the same 'problem'. I am no longer with her, and have been an absolute jerk to her, for which I will always be sorry since she is one of the nicest people I have known. So based on my experience this is the 'right' way to get her to lose the extra pounds.

Get a joint membership for both of you at the local 24 hour fitness place ($55 - $75 for 1 month). Make sure you go regularly for workouts (5 times a week if possible) even if she doesn't initially. Never directly suggest that she is overweight, this is rude and is an absolute NO NO; but say things about YOURSELF like 'I don't like my spare tire, and have to work out'. Girls will never lose weight if you ever DIRECTLY suggest that they are overweight; not only that, if you confront them later on about this, they will say that they WOULD have lost the weight if you had not forever scarred them by saying the rude things you did (this is an easy out later on, don't give it to her.)

When you go out to eat, get yourself the healthiest meal possible (like a salad), this will make her think twice about ordering the cheesy dish she would have otherwise got. Avoid soda and junk food, and tell her about how you've given these things up completely (of course be true to yourself, and really give these up yourself, not indulge in them behind her back). If she suggests dessert, tell her to go ahead and get what she wants, but you won't partake because you are watching your waistline; there is nothing wrong in saying this if you are really following through with it.

If all this still fails, then once you are in good shape yourself, you can confront her about this in a nice way, ask her why she continues to indulge in binge eating and not working out. She will NOT have that 'easy out' of saying you were the one who pushed her to it by being mean to her etc etc., if you had played your cards right and not been a jerk by directly telling her she is fat. Then if she is not able to justify herself, you can say that it is time for you to move on to someone who appreciates you more.

Trust me guys, I have told my girlfriend that I would like her to lose weight, because I was naiive and impatient, and too frank for my own good. Tact is important always. Even if you do decide to break up with her, a better alternative will be to not make her feel that you broke up with her because she is fat; here is where tact is needed; you can just probably say that you don't have the same feelings for her as you used to etc... (the it's not you it's me routine, but more polished). She will hate YOU but not HERSELF; this is the least you can do for her if you are dumping her. I did the opposite and regret it more than anything; because now she will have self confidence issues for the rest of her life, and this was not my intention at all.

Remember that it is OK for looks to matter in a relationship, and if one person is unwilling to switch to healthy habits just because of their own selfishness or desire to be lazy, the other person is not inclined to stay in the relationship; after all anyone can lose weight, it is just about trying, it is not like going bald or being short, which you have more or less no control over. Or if one of you get into an accident which disfigures you permanently; this is not something you had the power to change, so it would be a jerk move to dump someone for this.

NOTE to guys: If in the RARE case that your girlfriend really cannot lose weight because of some hormonal imbalance (this is quite rare but possible), then it is up to you to decide if you want to be a jerk for a day and dump her for that, or endure a lifelong relationship where your heart is not completely in it, and the relationship is based on guilt and sympathy, not on true love and attraction. Or you can bite the bullet, and make the ultimate sacrifice and stick by her and tell her you think she is still beautiful; a very noble act, which few people are capable of.

NOTE to girls: Even if your man says he doesn't care what you look like, don't be absolutely sure of this, after all men are attracted to physical beauty, and this is natural. Stop wallowing in self-pity, and taking the easy way out. You have to work for your man; just as you expect him to work for you and be there for you. What is wrong in adopting a healthier lifestyle and looking great not just for him but for yourself in the bargain? If you let yourself go, be sure that your guy will be checking out other hot girls around him, and wondering what he did to end up with you, even though you may be the sweetest person. Don't fool yourself thinking that all the hot girls are 'anyway b*tch*s', because trust me, I know a lot who are not, and who are actually genuine and pleasant to be around; so it is not 'either this' or 'that' for your guy; it is practically a candy store out there for a guy who is in shape and who is reasonably smart and good natured; he will pick up a pretty girl within weeks of dumping you, and this time he will be wise to choose a girl who actually cares about working out for herself and not for him, (most likely at the gym).

Answer 2

YOU DON'T. EVER.