How do you go on with your life feeling like your nothing after being abused for so many years by your husband is there any way to feel good about yourself again?

Answer 1

• The fact you have asked the question about getting on with your life in the future if you leave your abusive husband is one big step forward. Many women stay for years in an verbal or physically abusive relationship because the abuser has made sure to make their victim believe they are useless and will never survive in the outside world. If anyone was told that enough times they would start to believe it and thus, that is why women in abusive relationships are afraid to venture away from their abusive spouse. It will take every ounce of energy you have at this point to go through with a plan to get away from your abusive husband. If you can get out of the house then use a pay phone and to hurry things up you can call Mental Health and they will lead you in the direction of an Abused Women's Center where you will find protection. The counselor assigned to you will ask you some questions and they have heard it all so if you break-down crying do not feel embarrassed. In fact, many who help abused women have been abused themselves. Once they have your information then you are sent to a 'transition house' where no one will know where you are. At the transition house you will be given a room; fed; asked to do chores there; take the programs they give you that will get you back on your feet again and give you the confidence to know when you meet any other abusive man in your future and that you also should be able to count on yourself to survive and do not need a man in your life to do so; will get the legal process going and go to court with you to keep your abusive husband away from you. When they feel you are ready they will help you either further your education or help you get a place to live and a job. You will get great encouragement at the transition house because there are so many women in your position. If children are involved the children can go with the mother to the transition house, but the mother will have to bring the children with her when she is ready to talk to a counselor and go to that transition house (the children will stay with the mother.) Before seeking help try to pack a bag with just the essentials for you or any children you may have and hide it because once you leave your home you shouldn't go back for any reason. Tell no one where you are going, but after you have been settled into another place with a job then you can contact family. Yes, there is hope for abused women if they reach out to the Women's Abuse Centers in their area. Even famous women go through abusive relationships and being abused does not mean you are not intelligent. Right now you feel you may not have the strength to move on or you most certainly may feel fearful, but try to remember that it is your husband that has put these thoughts in your head. Try to remember what you were like before you met him. Women are extremely strong when they want to be. You should get to a point where you are angry at your husband who has abused you and that you are your own person and you can control your own life if you want to bad enough. There are a lot of professional people out there eager to help abused women attain a normal and safe lifestyle.