How do you have my mothe you n nusing home when doctortsdictate she cannot live alone?

Answer 1

This is a very difficult time for children of a family and one none of us likes to act out. Unforutunately our parents get old and if their health is not good and we can't look after them, then a nursing home is the only way to go. I just went through this approx. 2 years ago and it was a hard decision to make. My brother and I had to really sit down and think about it. My mother was 82 and had Diabetes and Dementia. It is difficult to prove if the person can look after themselves or not and as long as they are of sound mind they are considered by the medical profession as capable of making their own decisions. The best thing to do is go in to see your mother's doctor (with another sibling if possible) and discuss this with him/her. My mother had a bad diabetic reaction and was found on her condo floor by the housekeeper and was rushed off to hospital. My brother and I were so worried about this happening again, that we went in to see her doctor and explained the circumstances. Of course my mother was kept in hospital, and when he realized how bad she really was she was given a psychological evaluation and found that she was incapable of looking after herself. During this process they found she had Dementia. Her whole personality had changed and she was refusing to speak to me and would try to pit my brother and I against each other. Before this time I was caregiver of my mother because I lived closer to her and we had gotten along just fine until Dementia reared it's ugly head. After they evaluated my mother the doctor found a good nursing home for her. My brother and I went and checked it out to be sure it was a suitable place for her to be. It was thank God. We spent as much quality time with my mother as we humanly could, and often brought her to my home on weekends until her Dementia became worse and she was frightened to leave the nursing home (which she then considered her safe place and her home.) When parent's health start to diminish it's wise for the siblings in the family to start putting their father's or mother's or both, names on a waiting list for different nursing homes. Sometimes it can take a year or more and the more popular the nursing home the longer the list. DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU HAVE PUT THEIR NAME ON A LIST FOR A NURSING HOME! It will frighten them, and personally, if the parent's health is not too bad it's best to have them live with a sibling and their family. Unfortunately, this isn't always the way it turns out. If a nursing home contacts you and your parent(s) is not ready to go, then you don't have any obligation to take a room at the nursing home for them, but you will be put at the bottom of the list. See your mother's doctor and work with him/her and they will lead you through the process. Good luck Marcy