Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
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How do you know if an abuser is sincere about changing their ways?

Answer

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Wiki User
09/13/2011

He/she probably is, but is it possible? Most people who become physically abusive are unable to manage their anger and if they successfully suppress it for a while, it will just make the next event more explosive.

You may think that you love your abuser and you may think that he/she loves you. But the simple fact is, NOBODY who truly loves someone would ever want to bring harm. In general, the more the abuser tries to suppress his/her behavior, the more likely it is that there will be enough anger in the NEXT event that it could cause serious harm or even death.

Leave the relationship now. Get away to a safe place and if you still want to pursue the relationship demand that your abuser seek counseling. You can even attend the session if the counselor thinks it's a good idea. But never be alone with your abuser until/unless the counselor thinks it's safe.

Without therapy, abusive events only get worse, they never get better.

Most cities have women's shelters where you can go to get away from your abuser. If you're female, go there and stay for a while. Talk to other victims and some of the counselors. Getting away from the problem and in touch with others who have been through it can help you gain perspective.

You cannot change your abuser so save yourself.