How do you know when you truly have forgiven someone and is it truly possible to forgive and forget?

Answer 1

It depends on the severity of what that person did. I doubt any of us can totally forget some trauma another person has inflicted on us, but, it's highly possible to forgive because I've done it many times. Just because you forgive the person doesn't mean you have to have anything more to do with them. I have this quote posted on my fridge: "If you can't forgive someone then they still have control over you." What it means is, if we can't forgive that particular person it makes us angry is stressful and often we can rehash the problem with this particular person at night as we are waiting to fall asleep (prime time for this!) It can affect your health. It's OK to get angry at first or even feel you detest the person, but, in time, you should learn to forgive and move on.

HOW DO I FORGIVE & MOVE ON: As I said it takes time. If the hurt inflicted on you was simply a mistake or the person had good reason (health-wise) and lashed out at you then you need to put the incident into perspective. You have to decide no matter what the reason if this will be an on-going problem with this person and if it is then you need to move on. Once you are done this or even if you've forgiven the person and they've smartened-up time will heal the wounds. Keep busy, be with other more up-beat friends or coworkers.

Answer

It is possible. In most cases, people don't hurt another intentionally. It can be from someone simply being selffish and inconsiderate of others, lack of good judgment, the inability to resist temptation, not thinking that the incident could be hurtful to you, or they had no choice in a matter that could be hurtful. It's always best to forgive and forget. Like mentioned in the above answer, you can become a prisoner, a victim, of that person's actions. If you truly love someone you can truly forgive and forget. Unless the same person hurts you over and over again, in which case it could be more difficult to forgive I would imagine, you should always make every effort to move past the incident that was hurtful. If you really love that person you must move past the incident and not look back. You must TRULY forgive or it can destroy your relationship. So, yes it IS possible to truly forgive and forget. It depends on the individual who has been hurt and what their character is all about. Some people are not mature enough to do this. I guess others simply do not know how. I would guess there are some out there who will hold a grudge and be filled with resentment towards someone forever. It depends on the circumstances and the people involved. However, I can say from experience, you can truly forgive and forget and remember the good of a person and the love FOR that person.