How do you tell someone that they were rude and hurtful to you and your family?

I would suggest saying "You were rude and hurtful," or something along those lines.

Or if you feel the need to be "indirect" (spineless) you could do the 'ol exaggerate it way out of proportion in a mocking tone as if it's the end of the world, and then laugh and say you're just kidding.

You really should just pony up and say what needs to be said; it's easier. Besides, why go to great lengths to avoid awkwardness/tension between you and someone who's rude and hurtful to the family?