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Wow, I have never heard of this abuse before, but I will try to answer the question. You do not tell a difference because there is none. Why even put an "abuse" label on it? A person who is greedy and selfish is going to spend the money on themselves regardless of their spouse's needs, causing the spouse to go without. I suppose it would then be sensible to label it "monetary abuse," but I would just leave it as being married to a greedy and selfish person.

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Q: How do you tell the difference between someone who is monetarily abused by their spouse and someone who is just greedy and selfish?
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