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Find a time when you both do not have other people around, are not tired, to express this love and to start to find a way to resolve the arguments. Preferably, you each would compromise about the extended family since your relationship should absolutely come first. To do this, take a weekend away from all of it--go somewhere and have some fun. Then, together, figure out a way to start unraveling the issues one by one. Remember, that the more certain you are that you are right, that you may be mistaken. Avoid the blame and shame game. Perhaps have a regular Saturday appointment to spend an hour or so on the issue. A great book is Talking and Listening Together by Sherod and Phyllis Miller, since it empowers both individuals to be their best in working things out. (Also, it sounds like the extended family may be too dependent on your support and they need to stand on their own two financial and emotional feet.)

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Q: How do you tell your husband you love him after 12 years together and serious family arguments over extended family responsibilities keep the two of you apart?
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