I have a son with pretty severe disabilities and for a Narc my H does care quite a deal for our son. It is something I have never quite understood. Now that we are separated he takes our son every weekend and enjoys having him around. This puzzled me as I know he has full blown NPD and I actually questioned Sam V. about this strange, seemingly out of character, thing for a Narc. Sam V. said that they can get supply even from inanimate objects and can thusly also get some supply from a special needs child. That said, when my son turned 1 (9 years ago), my H began to work 60 hours a week. I tried to take vacations with him, which he refused to do, only to learn years later when he confessed to me that he couldn't take more than 4 days at a time to be with our son. Interestingly tho, is that he cannot handle it when our son gets sick or think he's in pain...it's almost like he is reliving pain in himself as a child. It's kinda wierd actually. So, even though my H does care for our son, it is still on his terms. Hope that's somewhat helpful.