Narcissism

How does a narcissist function after losing a long term relationship?

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2011-09-12 21:29:14
2011-09-12 21:29:14

If the relationship ended, he/she would have set the scene for it to end. They fear abandonment but push and pull so much the non-narcissist can not play any longer. He/she will function by simply replacing you. They wont let you 'go' in their heads. If a true narcissist they will absolutely feel that they were / are better than you, and they are charming to a fault (they are able to act that way when it suits!). So it is only a matter of time that they bounce into another relationship They will unceremoniously discard you, and that is a bitter pill to swallow.

If you truly believe that you have been with someone you believe displayed narcissistic traits, you will have put up with all sorts of hellish behaviour to get back what you had in the beginning. You would have seen glimpses of it in between the rages / silent treatment: you would have believed once they had gotten over yet another issue in their life that all would be good.

However, if you are the narcissist, well done you for recognising you've some issues. It may be possible that someone you were with has made you believe that you displayed traits that are narcissistic. The issue here is that if you think you are, chances are you are not. If you are questioningour behaviour, best get some help.

If you have separated from someone you believed had narcissistic traits, please do see someone. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps people who have been in abusive relationships. You are not to blame, but the help does assist you questioning why you would accept such bad behavior and help you find yourself again.

Finally, to answer your question there are many ways that they function if a true narcissist. They will reinvented themselves on all levels. They may change their style, their values, i have heard even their religion. They will put on the charm offensive to become the perfect fit for their next source of supply. They may also become vindictive, manipulative, play the 'victim', but what they do more often t not is to have a scapegoat for their problems. They are never to blame FOR ANYTHING. They will give their version of events that are vastly so very different from how you saw such an event or anyone else for that matter. And they will lie. Because they can not and will not accept any portion of blame. We can all look back a failed relationship and take a portion of blame, unless you are narcissist. All these bad things (ie manipulation, lies, vindictiveness, threat cold-calculated abuse) come when they know that they have lost for good. IF, however, there is an inkling of a way back in (and to their comfort zone!) they will lay on the charm offensive to win you back. Once fallen the relationship will revert back to the status quo where you were unhappy. Is this what you were asking?

I am certainly no expert. But over the last 19 months I have read anything and everything I can to assist my recuperation after a long-term relationship ended with someone who showed every trait of narcissism. I am a well educated person and by taking such steps by reading as much as I could, I have helped my way through some very tough times and although the tough times are still ongoing, I have educated myself to help ME.

Books that have helped me, and may help you are:

Narcsisstic lovers (Zyan)

Stop Walking on Eggshells

How to deal with manipulative people

And endless internet searches on Narcissism, loads from Sam VANKIN...

Hops this helps x

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Related Questions


People have long-term relationships with all sorts of people. Having a long-term relationship with a narcissist may not be your cup of tea, but it certainly is possible to do so.

Sure they are. They just "say" that to make you feel sorry so they can stick around and drain you dry. Get rid of them.

Welll that depends how long this person lives. AS they are always in a relationship with themself

The function of "LONG BONES" is: relationship into its width shaft.

I am not sure what "meaningful" means - but many narcissists have long term relationships with their sources of supply (not necessarily with other narcissists).

He loves himself more. Are you sure you want a commitment from a narcissist? He is not ready for a commitment. You need to decide for yourself how long you want to stay in the relationship without a commitment.

Difficult to answer, it can be anything from months to several years. Depends on how explicitly he/she has narcissistic traits and on how tolerant the other is.

If a man runs, he is not afraid of losing you. A man that loves you will not risk ruining the relationship or losing you to another man. A man that is chased may not say around a long time in the relationship.

Unfortunately, narcissism is a life long disease. If your partner is clinically narcissistic, there is very little hope of him or her ever changing.

No. Two narcissists would not get along in a long term relationship since a narcissist needs to be the smartest and greatest thing going and superior to everyone else. In order to have a "long term relationship" with a narcissist you need to have the personality traits that compliment the narcissist. Your purpose in the narcissist's life would be to supply what they need. That means you need to have the following personality traits:easy to be taken advantage ofinsecure with a poor self imagea poor understanding of realitywilling to constantly feed the narcissist's ego even though your praise would be dishonestwilling to place your own needs aside and concentrate on fulfilling the needs of your narcissistwilling to be treated with disrespect and verbally abused if you have an opinion, give advice when not asked to, or disagreenever, ever criticizewilling to pick up the pieces when they fail and never mention itwilling to join in the delusional, self grandiose world inhabited by your narcissistwilling to ignore public flirting with strangers in your presence, attention getting behavior in public and rudeness in their treatment of you and othersyou need to have a thick skin

As far is known, there is no relation as to when the teeth erupt and when puberty begins.

Because the narcissist always has to have someone to kick around. As long as you're available to kick around, he's happy to keep up some sort of relationship. As soon as you stand up on your own two feet,, he starts to look for someone else to kick.

As long as the narcissist is seeking councelling and they are WILLING to be there. They can change and make great improvements, however, they will never be normal. That is the price one pays for thinking that they are a god.

Narcissists usually will pick someone with a good nature, someone that is kind and empathetic. They also zero in on a person who is needy. Such a person will forgive the narcissist for their abuse and permit the narcissist to manipulate and control them.Co-dependent individuals are prime meat for a narcissist. Such individuals will stay in an abusive relationship long after anyone else would've left. The co-dependent individual will blame themselves for a lot of the problems in the relationship and feel they cannot survive without the narcissist, allowing the narcissist to extract narcissistic supply from them through abuse and extracting idealisation from them.Self confident and strong willed individuals are not preferred by narcissists as these type of people will challenge the narcissists bad behaviour and not permit the narcissist to get away with their abusive and exploitative ways.Further, those with few friends, who come from troubled backgrounds are preferred by narcissists. These individuals are the most vulnerable to narcissistic abuse and manipulation and provide a steady stream of narcissistic supply.

I read somewhere that a relationship based on addictive infatuation wears off after 18 months to 3 years so it stands to reason this is a safe time frame, but obviously every relationship is affected by the people involved.There is no universal answer to your question. A narcissist is only thinking about their own needs and is constantly seeking other people to provide adoration, financial support, and fill their other needs. They may only need a temporary supply or they may find the new person isn't malleable enough. In that case the relationship can be extremely short-lived.

Long Term RelationshipLong Term Relationship

long term relationship

Until a resource for some treatment becomes available. However, they would need to admit they have a problem, be tired of living in that world with a sincere desre to change and then take on the work that's ahead of him/her.

the function of long needle thread will direct in the long needle.

A long distance relationship is not realy a relationship that can be cheated on.

You have to assess whether this person could be a danger to your children. Would controlled visitation be an option? Otherwise if this person is dangerous, the children are probably better off without any contact. They will be fine as long as you are honest with them as they grow up.

No- a narcissist, by definition, is one who only thinks of him/herself. He will stay faithful in the relationship as long as he feels he is getting everything he wants. The second he feels unsatisfied, he will do what it takes to make himself happy, whether that be cheat, lie etc...

Because of 2 things: 1. Cognitive Dissonance and 2. mild to severe PTSD. The book 'Women Who Love Psychopaths' by Sandra Brown, MA answers this question (do not be put off by the title)

A symbiotic relationship is a close long term relationship.

I don't think there is signs in a long distant relationship ANSWER: A very long drive relationship.....just kidding here!


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