I've seen many shows on physically Abusive relationships where physical Abuse is constant and appalling- is it normal to call a spouse a physical abuser because of one minor push in a 25 year marriage?

Answer 1

Personally, I would say not. However, the issue here is how honest you are being with yourself. There is a large difference between abuse and frustration, as is there a large difference between a minor push and a shove across the room. If the situation is as you paint it, I would imagine the agony your partner is probably putting himself through is punishment enough. I say this assuming he has never felt the urge to lay a hand on you in the 25yrs you have shared and so will be tearing himself up with ashament at his disloyalty to you. If, of course, this is not really a rarity, but the push was minor, it may be that ur partner is struggling with his anger but does not wish to harm you and so the result is a 'minor push' as you call it. If this is the case, then management is essential before that frustration grows and he cannot control his hands. Just take a hard look, and make sure you are not fooling yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, but no one should put up with the constant mistakes of someone else. This happened to me once and I found that it needed to be considered and delt with, because dwelling on it will ruin your relationship..and frustration happens. BUT please please please don't make excuses for a man that hurts you. if he hurts you, he cant respect you.