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If a woman knows she's in an abusive relationship why would she let him control her the way he does?
Wiki User
∙ 19y ago
Abuse by a man (or even a woman) means that person is taking control of their mates mind and soul. Usually they will alienate their mate from family and friends and even go as far as to move away from family in particular. This gives the abuser free reign to do as they wish. The person that is abused doesn't usually see it coming at first and when it starts it usually comes on very slowly so the the person abused will make up excuses for the abuser. Also, women who are abused either have been terrified by their very life from the abuser and are terrified to press charges or run away from the situation. Each abuse case is different. Some women can successfully leave and the abuser moves on to abuse another person, but in most cases the abuser is so enraged he has lost control over his mate that he will go through hell fire to make her pay. It can get pretty ugly at times. Women who stay with an abuser are not weak at all. They have been physically, mentally (or both) master-minded by these low lives and they have lost all self-confidence in themselves. The abuser has hammered into their victim's mind that they are stupid, useless and couldn't get along without them and the worst hurt of all ... "no one will want you!" This is a game with the abuser and this is control! If there are children involved this makes the problem even worse. The abuser will threaten to take the children away or in extreme cases even threaten to kill them and their mate as well. The abuser delights in using anything precious (such as children) to control his/her mate. This is enough to frighten anyone. By the time the poor woman knows she has been abused badly she usually has been so alienated from family and friends that she feels there is no one to turn too and she feels so ashamed of herself for letting it go on so long. NOT TRUE!!!!!! Why don't they press charges if the police come to the door? It's simple. If she pressed charges, her mate would spend one to two days in jail because it's a first offence even though he has been beating her for years. He's let out, then he comes home angry as hell and beats her even worse. The police could be called a second time and the abuser arrested and it's court. The justice system lets too many of these abusers slip through the cracks and the most the abuser will get is a slap on the wrist, given a piece of paper telling them they are not allowed to be near the abused, but as we all know this piece of paper isn't worth what's written on it and a waste of good ink. We read in the papers and hear on the news that abusers are so high on their own power they don't even listen to the law and proceed to go into a full-blown rage and perhaps death can occur to the abused. That's why most women don't press charges! I believe it was in the early 80s an actress (can't remember her first name ... think it was Maria) but her last name was Santana, was going with a man who was an abuser. She moved into her sister and bother-in-laws home and even though her abuser was told to stay away from her by the court system he waited for her to come out of her sister's apartment and right in broad daylight in the middle of an open street and in front of more than 10 people (standing around in a huddle watching it) he stabbed her 19 times! Luckily a jogger was jogging by and fought the man off of her. She spent months in the hospital and more than scars on her body her mind was scarred for years. Eventually, in time, she was able to have a life and started a foundation to change laws to protect women. Now perhaps you will understand more about abused women. If you know someone who is abused, the best thing to do is take pictures of any scars, bruises, black eyes, cuts, wounds of any sort and hide the pictures. They are great in court! Secretly have her pack a bag and the next step is to find your local "Women's Center" that will put you onto a "Transition House." (NOTE: If you can't find a Women's Center please call Mental Health and they will help you through the process of finding a location. I work for a Women's Center and I can tell you that no one thinks any abused woman is stupid for putting up with it for so long, nor is anyone out to take your children away. The Women's Centers work hard to help victims of abuse and to find them a safe haven for the woman (children.) Here is what happens: When you go to a Women's Center you will see a counsellor there. If you have children and have brought them along with you there is someone there to play with the children while the counsellor takes you into their office (they don't want the children to become more frightened if they should see mommy crying.) You will be asked very personal questions with kindness and understanding. They instinctively know you had a hard decision to make, are frightened, and feel like the world is like a large deep hole. Many of these counsellers have been through abuse themselves. There is also a "Victim's Assistance Counseller" that will go to court with you to either press charges or get custody of your children. They will explain everything very clearly to you so there is no misunderstandings and you are prepared. You will go to a Transition House where you will be asked more questions and there are counsellers there to help as well and they help in getting you back out in life and standing on your own two feet. All of us, abused once or not, feel we are all sisters, no matter what race or color of skin we are. We all stand in unison to protect one another. Once at the Transition House, even the Women's Centers don't know where they have relocated the mother (or mother and children.) It's highly confidential! If you are a friend of an abused person, don't come on too strong. Listen! Let them cry and tell you about their fears. Read up on abuse and you will soon realize that an abused person is not weak or stupid for staying with the abuser. YOU SHOULD NEVER CONFRONT THE ABUSER! NEVER MAKE AN ENEMY OF THE ABUSER! Stay quiet, don't even give him a dirty look. By doing so you are giving off signals that you have taken sides and the next thing you know he'll beat the heck out of your friend and you'll never see them again. I know it's tough to sit and watch this go on, but it's a must in order to help your friend. If you are going to help be sure you are strong enough to run the mile with her. Don't ditch her mid-way. They sure don't need this. God speed Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 19y ago
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Will a verbal abusive woman continue to abuse in each relationship?
Generally a verbally abusive woman has control issues and she will carry them into most relationships. However, there are a few women that are verbally abusive to one or more men, but may meet a man that she is not verbally abusive to as they are better suited for each other.
Who are affected by abusive relationship?
a lot of people...............man, woman, children all over the world
If your husband is being abusive and you tell him that you're going to kill him if he doesn't let go are you being abusive?
People tend to say things in anger. Since your husband is abusive you should consider going to a Woman's Abuse House to find help and learn tools to cope. No one has the right to abuse the other. Your relationship is toxic and you are in control of your life and not your husband. To tell him you are going to kill him is a serious accusation and when you get to this point it's time for you to leave this abusive relationship.
What is a man who beat his woman called?
abusive
What are the ill effects of a abusive maternal relationship?
For a man, he would not have the mother to be a good role model on how he should treat women. For the woman, she would not be able to have a mother to guide her in becoming a confident female. The effect of having an abusive maternal relationship could take years to sort through.
Is there a way for a woman to continue some kind of relationship with a man she loves who is abusive?
Both need to go to counseling or it won't work,and it has to be long term!
What can be done to help a woman leave an abusive relationship?
tell her that she is important and that she shouldn't be treated like that tell her what she can do and how much you can achieve in how many people she can help
What are the possible reasons a woman would seek out a relationship where she is being controlled and why would she view that as love?
Usually women do this because it is all they know. Many women will pick partners that are abusive because they've had abusive fathers, etc.
What is a lesbian mistress?
A lesbian mistress is a woman who is involved sexually with another woman who is in a relationship. A mistress, in general, is the "other woman" that someone, man or woman, is cheating on their partner with.
What are the chances of an abused and abusive woman who was recently divorced trying to get back with her non-abusive ex-boyfriend?
It's in the best interest of everyone, most especially the abused woman who has abusive tendencies, to seek counseling for herself. She should also stay out of relationships until she has adressed why she is abusive to others. Getting involved too soon would be a rebound relationship. Even if her ex was willing to take her back (and he might not be), it's unhealthy to jump from one relationship to another in hopes of being saved from a bad situation, or believing all personal problems will end if they get with someone who once had feelings for them. The abused/abusive person must heal themselves first before they enter a new relationship.
Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if with a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?
It is highly unlikely that man who does not have an abusive personality will become an abuser if their partner grew up in an abusive home and refuses help. Good men know they should never hit a woman which in some cases can lead to male abuse by a woman. The stress of being around an abusive person be it verbally or physical abuse is bound to have effects on the non abusive partner, but most men will only take so much and have the opportunity of leaving the relationship.
Should a woman stay in a verbally abusive relationship?
Nope. Because she she might get hurt even more. And the abuser might think it is ok to hurt them because they won't mind. Once they hit you, you should get out of that relationship.
