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I'm new to this idea that my "friend" may have Narcissism. I too, wonder if he is a narcissist. I've looked at many websites on the subject. When I find the behaviors listed to be a narcissist he only fits about 3. They say 5 is the answer for narcissism. However, I've copied excerpts from many different websites that list specific behaviors and have compiled quite a long list that pertains to him. Such as:

Values then devalues a significant other. Looks for ways to keep his narcissist supply around. Expects others to do things for him he should do. Lazy. Rage if confronted. Absolutely no empathy for the pain they put you through. Secretive. Lies quite a bit. Manipulative. Never admit they are wrong in a relationship. Latch on to people who are in some way dependent. Has one person who can do no wrong and will not stand any critism for that person. Lacks the ability to recognise the abstract idea.

If this is not a narcissist then what is he?

I just was dumped by a boyfriend of 10 months. I am divorced over a year and met him four months after my divorce. I have two daughters, one with autism. This guy overwhelmed me with promises and love. After two months, he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and my special needs daughter. I came to love his two boys. Then after taking a "family" vacation with all the kids two weeks ago, he called me and said he had never loved me. Over the course of the relationship I found him to be a ridiculously jealous, ego-centric, hypochrondriac. Still there were moments of sweetness, especially as he was kind to my daughters. Interestingly enough, he preferred my autistic daughter because she worshipped him ( her dad is not good with her). Sometimes he would fly into rages over my talking to a waiter, etc, even my finding a movie star handsome, saying I didn't make him feel special. Then he would say I was abusing him. He always had to be right, considered himself smarter than everyone else. And I think tried to fake empathy, but it never seemed to have depth. He is a very responsible father but mostly courts his kids worship. He has a hard time disciplining them and talking to them personally because he wants them to see him as perfect. They are like little prototypes of him, still he is a good caregiver to them. Is he a narcissist? The way he left me was so sudden and detached. He does not wish to speak to me, and I expended so much energy trying to be so good to him. It was the promise to love my daugther that really hooked me. Do you think he knew that, or liked the idea of himself as being wonderful enough to love her? He has an enormous ego, is a fastidious dresser, and exercisesconstantly. I have since found out that he has a history of women he has suddenly left since his wife left him 8 years ago. I spoke to her and she said she felt he had no feelings for her, just like the "services" she provided. Still he wouldn't have left her, but was chronically unhappy with her. He told me he never fell in love with her, the same line he used with me and all the other women he has hurt. I was very vulnerable when I met him. MY Ex was emotionally abusive. Does he sound like a narcissist? Oh, yes, he also never wanted me to talk and say "I love you" during sex. Sex was great, but kind of mechanical. He would mostly keep his eyes shut and if I talked at all, he said I took him out of the moment. Kind of like he was doing it with himself. He told me in the past, he has had sexual dysfunction problems but it was because the women was untrustworthy. Anyway, when I called him on his coldness about the breakup, he said I was abusing him. He is just done with me, like a switch turned off. What do you think?

I know this is not the answer to your question but maybe it will help.

This is a great question. What if s/he demonstrates the symptoms of this frustratingly hopeless personality affliction, but is only APPEARING to be narcissistic due to a different, possibly more profound or more TREATABLE issue?

I grappled with that very question. My gf had an array of conflicting issues that, I rationalized, could produce an overwhelmingly self-centered, unempathic, etc. outward attitude. She had menopausal mood swings, depression, alcoholism, ongoing financial crises and troubling family issues. I was hopeful that her attitude toward me COULD conceivably improve as she struggled with her demons. As I reasoned: she had sought hormones & anti-depressant therapy; she had begun to search for sobriety, she was proactive toward her finances and her family circumstances were evolving. With great hope, I noticed that the medications had a generally positive impact on some of her overt nastiness. But, still, despite her great proclamations of love & bliss, her big plans & promises, she continued to treat her dog better than she treated me!

Even if it is possible that her "improvable" life issues continued to actively cause her negative attitude, normal people are usually sensitive to their bad treatment of others. Despite some improvement, she, on the other hand, continued to rely on excuses, still never took responsibility for her unpredictable rages, remained amazingly defensive to perceived criticism, all the while extending 'apologies' that were phrased like "I am sorry that you got so upset."

It may be possible that certain intolerable human behaviors are the result of different combinations of stimuli. If so, it would also be possible that if the right combination of offending stimuli could be neutralized or removed, the intolerable behavior might be improved.

But, really, what's the difference? If s/he acts like a narcissist, you've noticed because of how terrible, confused and hurt you've been feeling. Worry about YOU! His/her problems, not matter how profound, are their problems to solve; they are not yours.

If you are being treated badly, by a narcissist, a person acting like a narcissist or any other, for your own good, you:

  • must end the relationship
  • accept that you have taken a difficult fist step
  • allow yourself to take a lot of time to grieve
  • give yourself time to come to terms with what you've been through
  • seek counseling
  • avoid rebounding into a relationship until you feel better
  • go to this wiki.answer link; read about abuse:
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โˆ™ 2015-07-16 19:26:59
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Q: If someone has symptoms of narcissism how can you be absolutely sure they are a narcissist?
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Related Questions

What is the definition of the Narcissist?

the definition of narcissist is a person that has narcissism and i know your question what is narcissism it it when someone loves themselves in a obsessive way

How does a narcissist make someone feel wrong and him right?

Check my previous answer on narcissism!

How does narcissism affect an individual?

depending on if your the narcissist or just someone around the narcissist..... if you are the narcissist dont worry it wont effect you. You will just continue on with your selfish ways and use people for what they can do for you. If your someone around the narcissist..... RUN- get out while you can. The only way to really survive is to not have them in your life

Can someone be a narcissist in training so to speak where they definitely have narcissistic traits but not full-blown narcissism and if so can they change?

They can be a developing narcissist. NO. they can NOT change. Sorry. Run while you can!

If u are a megalomaniac are you a narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness coded on axis 2 of the DSM-IV and requires a diagnosis by a qualified mental health professional. The two terms are similar and someone called a megalomaniac is not unlikely to show symptoms of narcissism. In fact, they could be a narcissist but they may or may not be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

Does a narcissist really mean it when he says he has no desire to talk to you ever again?

Well, a narcissist is someone who is in love with themselves. So it is possible that he may not like you as much as himself, but that's only if he's a drastic case of narcissism.

Can someone be both a sociopath and a narcissist?

Narcissism & Sociopathy are on the same spectrum ALL Sociopaths are also Narcissists NOT all Narcissists are Sociopaths, though. The spectrum only runs one way.

Is a narcissist mom a form of abuse?

Yes. Well, somewhat. Her narcissism probably bothers you, (or someone else). Narcissism is a nasty disease & does affect others around them. It could be intentionally or unintentionally putting someone down, and that's somewhat emotional/mental abuse. She may one day lead you, ( or someone else) to think that she's better than you and can do things that you can't. Hope this helps:)

How do you cure your narcissism?

Narcissism can be difficult to treat at times, but it depends on the client. If the client is truly motivated (which yes, does happen despite what you may read online), treatment requires that the therapist be particularly skilled in the treatment of this disorder. There are some very specific therapeutic interventions that can significantly reduce symptoms for a motivated client. If you, or someone you love, are suffering from narcissism I would recommend searching online for someone in your area that has had proven success with this area of treatment. Personally, I have found working with narcissism to be both enjoyable and fulfilling. So, to summarize, find someone in your area that both enjoys working with narcissism and has had success in its treatment.

Insecurity and narcissism?

To say a narcissist is insecure would be to put it lightly. They are PROFOUNDLY insecure. You would be too if you were rejected by everyone, including your parents, for who you really are. It is hard to love and care about someone for who they really are when you dont know who they really are. After all the narcissist has a fake personality which he seems to think people will admire him for but once people see through it, the narcissist becomes very lonely.

What is the difference between megalomania and narcissism?

Hmmm... 'Megalomania' is a word derived from Greek. 'Narcissism' is a word derived from the name of a Greek god. Other than that, probably not much... Megalomania is a thirst for fame, glory, spectacle, conquest, etc., and it requires supporting players and an audience. Narcissism is simply falling in love with oneself. Someone could be a narcissist while deprived of human company, but a megalomaniac would be out of business.

What is a sentence for the word narcissism?

His narcissism led him to believe that he was the best, but in the contest he came in second and someone else will be to blame.

What is narcissism complex?

When someone is in love with their self they are narcistic.

What causes someone to become a narcissist?

I do not believe that anyone knows the answer to this question. It is probably a combination of Nature and Nurture that causes narcissism. I don't believe there any "instances" which one could point and say "that caused so and so to be a narcissist." Unfortunately, without a known cause, chances are there are no known cures. If you are involved with a narcissist, you only can decide for yourself if you wish to remain involved. The narcissist WILL NOT change and is UNABLE to change. Also, keep in mind that naricssists are advanced, talented manipulators. Tread carefully and protect your emotions when dealing with a narcissist. You will end up with hurt feelings, there is no way around that. In some sense, the narcissist gets a pass. Not necessarily from their negative behavior of course, but a pass none-the-less, because "technically" it isn't their fault they have narcissistic tendencies. Most people can control how they treat others however; the narcissist will repeatedly treat people poorly because the people in their lives allow the mistreatment to continue. In other words, the only way to not be subjected to abuse from a narcissist is to totally and absolutely cut all ties with the narcissist.

Is there a miracle cure for narcissism?

No. Narcissism can be difficult to treat and it depends on the client. The client must recognize they have this problem and want to change. If the client is truly motivated (which yes, does happen despite what you may read online), treatment requires that the therapist be particularly skilled in the treatment of this disorder. There are some very specific therapeutic interventions that can significantly reduce symptoms for a motivated client. If you, or someone you love, are suffering from narcissism you should search online for someone in your area that has had proven success with this area of treatment.

What is it called when someone think everyone wants to be with them?

A narcissist!

Is a narcissist capable of murder?

Absolutely. Narcissists are capable of murder. Narcissists are focused on themselves and their goals, so if someone is blocking them from getting what they want, they may kill the person they perceive as being in their way.

Can you be around someone with their period and have symptoms without ever being on yours?

Being around someone who is menstruating has absolutely no impact on your body or your menstrual cycles. If you are experiencing menstrual symptoms it is because of your own menstrual cycle, it has nothing to do with anyone elses body.

Do narcissists ever regret a partner leaving them?

A narcissist would not want to lose a person that plays up their narcissism. Like a person that constantly complimented them about their good looks, intelligence, personality, etc and admired them. I bet they would regret losing someone like this, an infatuated kiss a**.

Can you become a narcissist after you meet someone who is a narcissist?

No, but you can become very good at looking after your own interests, since they certainly won't.

What does narcissism mean?

'Narcissism' means an exceptional admiration for yourselfSomeone who is narcissistic is "in love with themselves". Also referred to as self-centered, ego-centric, of "full of themselves"

Physically abused by a narcissist?

Talk to someone that you trust about it and get help.

What do you call someone who is obsessed with themselves?

Vain narcissist and/or sociopath

What is the best therapeutic intervention for someone with malignant narcissism?

CBT is probably the preferred method of counselling a narcissist, but this can only happen if the narcissist knows that something is wrong and WANTS to change. The problem with narcissists is the feeling of being god-like and better than anyone else, to even suggest there is a problem is outrageous and so they turn it around making you the one with the problem who needs help. A very difficult scenario. WHAT IS CBT

What is it when someone is sexually attracted to themselves?

um....portentous, confidence...I guess it would be narcissism.