If you are in a fight and he calls you degrating names is it ok?

Answer 1

No it is not OK. I have been there before and can tell you it doesn't get any better. I was in a verbally abusive (yes, that is verbal abuse) and controlling marriage for 7 years...it only got worse. 7 years and 3 kids later, I stopped making excuses for him and convincing myself it wasn't that bad and I left. I had to call the police for the 3rd time because he was in one of his fits of yelling and name calling because we were fighting and then I took my kids and whatever fit in my van and left...and NEVER looked back. That was 2 1/2 years ago, my divorce is slow going and I've been thru hell with non-payment of child support (which ended in me taking him to court on a violation and getting a judgment for the arrears)...but the struggle is worth it. The thing that did it for me was when I went to a domestic violence counselor and she gave me the slap in the face I needed by saying but 2 things..."Do you want your daughters to grow up and marry this man? Because if you show them that it is acceptable, they will." and "Do you want your son to grow up and be this man? Because if you show him it is acceptable, he will". Those words hit like a punch in the gut...and helped me decide to get out. Now I have a wonderful boyfriend of 2 years who has NEVER called me a name...EVER....and it feels great!