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If you let your 15-year-old daughter go live with her dad 1 and a half years ago and now have to fight to make her visit or call how can you make her come home or visit without a big fight?

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2009-01-13 01:12:17
2009-01-13 01:12:17

== == okay i am a 14 year old girl and i hate it at my house because my dad always yells at me and hes to strickt and i dont have a compurter or cable.!=[ just be a laid back parent dont be up her butt when she vists let her do her thing!give her a reasnable cirfu like 10:00 and just let her be she ll come to you!=)

In each one of us there is still a child within us, so tap into that! No matter if your reasons for letting your daughter live with her father, in her eyes you deserted her. Think back to when you were in your early teens. Would you have cared or understood why mom just took off? I don't think so. You see, kids only know "mom and dad" and they don't understand all the problems that their parents can have. You have to come face-to-face with you inner self. Do you want your daughter to come visit you because now you feel "left out" or that she favors her father more than you and it's leaving a void in your heart? I would think the latter is more to the truth. Slowly you have to win the respect and trust of your daughter back and it's not going to happen over night. I would suggest you start telling her the truth. She's old enough to tell what happened between you and your husband. Whatever you do, don't put her father down, no matter what truths you may know about him. If you do, you've lost her for good! Tell her what was in your heart at the time and why you decided her father had to take her. You'd be quite surprised how 15 year olds can have compassion and try to understand. By starting off with the truth the rest is almost a piece of cake in comparison. Once the truth is told, then start doing things as mother and daughter. Take her clothes shopping (don't spoil her) and perhaps have fun getting new hairstyles or getting your nails done. Lighten up, and don't try so hard to please her. Don't give in to her every whim because kids (without realizing it) can play one parent against the other to get "things." Grab a DVD one night, and have a laid back evening with your daughter. Pull out popcorn (or whatever she likes) and try to have a few laughs. Laughter is the best medicine. NEVER question her about anything in her father's life (such as ... is he dating and who is he dating) because if you do, all the work you have put into winning your daughter back will be for not. If you work slowly and carefully with this then you have to make a pledge in your heart that you will never leave your daughter again. In the future your daughter should know that no matter what, when she needs her mother, she'll be there. You're daughter won't be 15 forever. Good luck God Bless Marcy

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