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Yes it is common. You are some kind of wonderful, and not many husbands would forgive their wives so easily. It's true we all make mistakes and an affair can be one of them, but we should learn from that mistake. The reason you feel this way is you are enraged and your manhood has been challenged by her cheating and you are confused and don't know what to do. It took all your willpower to stay calm and deal with her cheating in an adult fashion, but what you didn't do was really feel the anger because you were betrayed. You didn't take time out for YOU and in ways, when someone hurts you in this way a grieving period accompanies it and you just haven't grieved. You are automatically holding your feelings back and trying to be calm and sensible about it It's obvious you love her, but you've given into her too easily and have not made her sweat a little. You have become an "enabler" for her behavior and you're angry at yourself for it. So here you are, walking around on egg shells trying to keep a "stiff upper lip." The best thing to do is sit down and talk to her. Tell her that she's hurt you deeply and you don't know if you can handle it or not or ever trust her again and it's going to take some hard work on her part for you to trust her again. Time does heal and as I said, we all make mistakes (but it should only be once!) Tell her if you ever catch her cheating again her bags will be packed and waiting for her at the front door! You should be making HER work for your forgiveness and trying to gain your trust back. Have that talk and don't let her off the hook so easily. By doing the above you are gaining back your self respect, your manhood and control of your own life. Good luck Marcy

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โˆ™ 2005-11-16 09:20:44
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Q: If your wife cheated is it common for you to feel like you are trying to do everything you can for her but you feel like you are being taken advantage of?
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