Is Marcucci gay for not going out?

He sure as hell is! This Douche-Canoe is two paddles short of getting out of the river of douche he is floating on if you know what I mean. This guy made a promise to his wife that he would not have any harmless fun at all while TDY and he is defintiely sticking to it. This guy is being so gay about it in the process that I think he is trying to win some kind of ultimate gay award and to be honest...I would vote for him to win over Freddie Mercury at this point! His balls (if they exist) are 100% attached to the inside of his wife's purse so she can hold her coins in it and they are not going anywhere anytime soon! I have never seen an Italian that was so nutless since the Sopranos ripped off a guys nuts for not paying on a loan! Also, he is so gay that he admited "Jersey Shore" was his favorite TV show of all time! What a pile-o'-queer-bait!