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My N was infatuated with me for over a year. He was totally up my rear. It was only when I decided to end things with him cause I thought he was "unstable" that he became UN-infatuated. I do believe that he did love me in his own way but could not take that I broke up with him in the first place. WHen I took him back, he was a jerk to me and left ME for a hideous fat woman. You may want to see Sam's book re: cycles of idealization and devaluing. From what I've read, N's have a phase of thinking that their new source of supply is the best thing since sliced bread.That can appear to be a kind of infatuation. The book really explains it well, and sad to say, you may recognize the syndrome. Hope this helps. Yes, yes, yes. Mine was infatuated with me for 3 weeks. Then he broke up with me and was infatuated with another woman for 3 weeks. Then he broke up with her and returned to being infatuated with me. That relationship lasted about 3 years, with constant fighting and a marriage. Then he started divorce proceedings and got involved with his brother's wife, who was also halfway through a divorce. He was infatuated for about a month and she dumped him. He returned to me and seemed infatuated with me, although hurt about being dumped. We were remarried, since I believed that he was really in love with me. After all, he had returned to me so many times. All the other women must have been just mistakes, right? So that relationship lasted about 3 years, and was relatively peaceful. And then it started again, he was restless. This time he told me outright he was LOOKING for someone to be in love with. He got online, he saw other women, he flirted with his good friend's fiance. I started divorce proceedings this time. He found a woman online and was infatuated for a couple of months. He was able to stretch it because they never saw each other. He moved in with her. That relationship lasted two years. Currently, he is obnoxiously emailing and leaving messages for me, wanting to "talk" to me and saying how he "misses our conversations." Guess what? I knew this day would come. He is once again LOOKING for someone to be infatuated with. It ain't gonna be me this time. But I feel sorry for whoever it will be. She has a hard road ahead of her.

2009-02-19 17:27:33
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Q: Is it possible for a narcissist to be infatuated with someone even if he cannot really love her?
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