Is it possible for your ex-Narcissist to change and come back to you as a normal person?

Answer 1

[edit added] Whilst the answers below are very negative here is some slightly positive news. Yes it is possible to cure however its not an easy method per say. It takes time to re-program behaviour and abstain from certain practices and will depend on the extent of the personality disorder. It is rare and difficult to even begin healing but it does happen. The first step is to accept critisism and that they are flawed following that it takes time to seek help and make changes. Outside of this seek help from an approved source of information I would recommend a very helpful British charity called SANE please Google for the website. They will be able to help you further and if you are outside of the UK simply send them an email. Please remember this is something that is only begining to be treated and treatments are still very new, as we discover more about personality disorders hope increases. Further to this keep in mind that although your former partner may change to rebuild a relationship should only be done with the assistance of their councillor or psyciatrist. The biggest problem could be a possible regression it can be easy to loose their perspective. Should you end up together take an active involvement in their treatment they need to realise that its perfectly fine to not be perfect.

Take your advice on this from approved sources whilst the majority of narcissists haven't yet reached the toxic stages yet the majority of mateiral on the web comes from those with partners who have. It leaves a deceptive picture. Its for that reason that university's will never accept Google as a source of credible information. Turn to accredited sources such as mental health charities for accurate information.

No. narcissist are egotistical, often highly intelligent but haven't learned to put that intelligence to good use and use it to hurt others. They feel superior to their peers and that just doesn't include their mate, but family, friends and coworkers. They honestly believe they are always right and everyone else is wrong. They are perfectionists to the utmost degree although possibly not a true perfectionist in the eyes of a normal person. They play games with not only their victim but others and find most other people intolerable as far as being on the same level of intellect as the narcissist thinks he is and thus, the narcissist is really very lonely. The old saying, "It's lonely at the top" is very true when it comes to the narcissist. It goes on and on and the whole thing is about "chess playing" and being "one up." Eventually, the narcissist will burn all bridges and at sometime in their lives will have ruined all relationships and their mind-games will have affected their own personality to the point where they will never know what a true and loving relationship feels like.

AnswerIt was vital for me to understand this before I left my N. I researched the possibility and met with two PhD's in Psychology - one of whom knew the N. Both said it is nearly impossible for them to change, due to the very nature of the problem - a lack of insight, or possibly a refusal to gain insight. Either way, there is an extremely low likelihood of change occurring. It is tantamount to brain damage. I was desperate to find someone, anyone... who would tell me there was hope. I could not find 'one' person. It was very discouraging and painful to accept. Yet at the same time, it was the truth that would eventually set me free. I believe we will all know someday of the eventual end of the N's we knew. Somehow, our lives will direct us to these answers either by direct knowledge (learning about their lives over time) or by our own spiritual discernment. Experiencing a more normal relationship with someone also illuminates just how sick an N is, and thus how unbelievably difficult it is for them to get well. Take care, Always Learning AnswerIt breaks my heart to read this as I too looked in vain for some hope that my N would/could change. I spent a lot of time researching this. It does help to know I did what I could. I loved this man. He is not capable of loving back. I can let go now that I have accepted this. Had I not learned about Narcissism, I might have had painful doubts.Now I am free. AnswerIf the narcissist has had intense therapy and counseling there could be an improvement but come back as a normal person, not likely. Narcissist like so many other personality disorders are rarely cured because they are imprinted in there being. The question should be, do you want to devote any more of your time and life to a person that may or may not change. Dont you deserve better. You may be able to have a friendship with this person but not a relationship.