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An abuser is about control and brain-washing occurs. The abuser makes you think that you can't get along without them. You are so use to the way you have been treated you actually think you like the person, but in reality you haven't even entered the anger stage yet and it's coming! No one likes to be abused and it's not normal. Love is about treating that person with patience, kindness and understanding, loyalty and being friends first and then lovers. You are hurting because you are one smart person and got out of a bad relationship. At first you will feel lonely and almost tempted to patch things up with the abusive person. Don't! Move on. Make friends and go out and have some much needed fun and learn to laugh again. Give yourself a chance to realize how independent you really are and how much inner strength you have. When you realize you don't need a man in your life to exist, that is when you future relationship with a partner will work out better. There is someone very special out there for you that will treat you the way you should be treated. I was married to an abusive husband and didn't even realize how abused I was (I was young at the time.) It finally hit me 3 1/2 years later and I left him, filed for divorce and found an apartment of my very own (freedom and independence) and also quit my old job and got a much better one. I made new friends and started dating again until I met my second husband. Of course I was lonely for a little and cried myself to sleep many nights, but I held on and I'm so glad I did. I've been happily married to a wonderful guy for 34 years and still going. Good luck Marcy

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โˆ™ 2006-04-05 08:54:36
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Q: Is it supposed to hurt walking away from an abusive relationship when you are not in love but care for the person?
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How do you know when someone is in an abusive relationship?

i know from past relationship that having an abusive relationship is not easy but there are no signs you can look out for or things you could do, if the person loves there partner you carnt do nothing i was in a abusive relationship and kind of still am but that's tough love for you xxx

When you are bipolar does that make you abusive?

It could. But not every Bipolar person is abusive. It should however, never be an excuse for abuse. A person who is abusive Bipolar or not, is wrong in what they are doing. Seek help if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship/situation.

Why can't people leave abusive relationship's?

People can't leave them because the person who is abusive to you will not let you go anywhere.

What are abusive relationships?

Well, refer to the name, a relationship, that involves abuse. It can be towards the male or female, if you are in an abusive relationship, leave the person and/or call the police or abuse hotline..idk it though

What should you do if you are the witness of an abusive relationship?

try to get help for that person but do it in steps if you think the person may be harmed if they leave the abusive person. call help lines for abused people. get help before it is to late. something may happen that can't be reversed. i have a friend that was in a abusive relationship and her boyfriend almost killed her so please help that person before it is to late. i beg you

Why do people keep going back to abusive relationships when they have someone that is really a good person?

In a abusive relationship the one doing the controlling does not let the other person think, act, or speak for themselves. Everything revolves around that person. When trying to get out of this type of relationship its hard to know what you are supposed to do. Its like learning to walk , eat , shop , or anything else for the first time. This is a critical time for this person and hopefully he/she will have someone to help them along this learning process. Although this person, who is usually and adult, is grown in their minds they are lost as to how to act outside of this relationship. Be gentle with this person and keep encouraging them to stay away. Did this person grow up inside another abusive relationship? Look deep into the past to see why this behavior keeps happening and don't be to quick to judge.

Should you stay in an abusive relationship or should you go now?

You should definitely go. An abusive relationship is unhealthy for you both physically and emotionally. If you continue to stay with that abusive person, you will more than likely end up being attracted to more abusive people in the future. In fact some abusive relationships can lead to suicide and/or being murdered.

Who are the victims of an abusive relationship?

The person being abused and any children who are there to witness it are victims.

How long does it take to recover from an emotionally abusive relationship?

Depends on the person. Sometimes - years.

If your in an abusive relationship and you think you love the person do you actually or are you just addicted to the relationship?

Look up Traumatic Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome. And get out of that relationship.

How do you get away from abusive person?

There are many different answers depending on your relationship to the abusive person. In all cases there are two questions: the first one is, who is the abusive person and what is the relationship to you. If the abusive person is a parent, ask a teacher. If the abusive person is a teacher, tell a parent. If the abusive person is a brother or sister tell a parent. If the parent will do nothing, tell a teacher. If the teacher will do nothing, tell the principal. There is someone who can do something. If it is someone on your way to school, tell both your parent and teacher. Assault is a crime. A person can go to prison for that even if it is a kid. In Florida, both the Methodist Children's Home and Boys Town have a number of boys and girls who have been abused and removed from their homes. You have to tell people you are being abused before HRS will do anything.

Does the abuser really love the person being abused?

No the abuser does not love that person they love controlling and abusing that person and that's it. It is difficult for there to be love in an abusive relationship. The abuser can not truly give love or receive it because he or she is mentally disabled. The abusive personality is a mental disorder and the abuser needs to seek psychiatric help. An abusive relationship is not a healthy one and no matter what the abuser says, he or she can not love you, it is obsession and control that drives an abusive partner.

How do you stop hating yourself after an abusive relationship?

well you shouldn't hate yourself you should hate the person that abused you...because you didnt do anything wrong Answer: you shouldn't hate yourself neither the other person because it.was what you wanted at one time and if it turned out to be an abusive relationship so you learn what to do and what to avoid in the next relationship .

Where can a person find help to get out of an abusive relationship?

There exist a hotline for every state in the United States if you find yourself in an abusive relationship which you can find on the Tripod website. If you find yourself in immediate danger you can also contact 911 and they will assist you immediately.

What is codependancy?

Codependency is when you enable another person in self-destructive tendencies, such as drinking, drugs or abusive behavior. It is an unhealthy relationship.

What to do if you're in an abusive relationship?

you get away from that person and call the cops but you cant let your spouse find out BE SAFE

Why do abusive relationships exist?

It exist because the person being hurt stays in the relationship thinking the abuser will stop. Face reality this person has issues and they will not just up and change. I would advise anyone who is in an abusive relationship whether physical,emotional or verbal get out while you still can, because the abuser is not going to change magically.

Leaving as way to gain control in a abusive relationship?

Answer Leaving to gain control in an abusive relationship won't help you much. You will never gain control over a person who is mentally sick by leaving him or her. This person needs help and either you stand by them while they get professional help or you leave because you feel it's the thing to do. Don't leave for all the wrong reasons and later regret your move, if you have children and this person won't go for help, then leave as fast as you can because your children will eventually be affected by your choice to stay in an abusive relationship. Good luck

What can a person do if they are in an abusive relationship?

If you are in an abusive relationship, the best thing to do is to tell the counterpart to stop. If they refuse, go to a person you trust (preferably 15 years and up) and tell them all about it. If that does not work for some reason, go to a parent or the cops. Do not be scared to tell on the person that is abusing you, it is illegal. Moreover, it is dangerous. With any luck (and most of it towards success), the abusing will stop and you will go on with your life peacefully.

Why would someone be nice toward some but abusive toward a good friend?

More than likely that person does not want anyone to know that they are being abusive to someone. They also like to have control and power over that person. The person who is being abused needs to get out of that relationship, also, the one doing the abuse needs to seek help to see why they are abusive. I hope that this helps. God Bless:)

What leads a person to be abusive?

probably an abusive childhood or excessive stress

How do you know when your cheating in a relationship?

because your doing stuff with another person that you aren't supposed too!

When will you begin to feel 'normal' after leaving an abusive relationship?

There is no one correct answer. So long as a person remembers anything of the abusive relationship, it will always have some effect on them simply by remembering it. In a similar fashion to some believing virginity can never be regained once lost, someone who is abused can never be "never abused" unless they incur a complete amnesia over their memory of the entire abusive relationship. The more serious consequences to the victim of a relationship, such as depression (suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness, etc.), nightmares, "battered wife syndrome" (in which one thinks the abusive relationship is their fault and the relationship can be good again if they are a better lover) may not pass at all if the victim has chronic depression (chronic depression doesn't mean feeling depressed after an emotionally traumatic event, such as an abusive relationship, but is a neurochemical imbalance that can make it impossible for a person to stop feeling depressed even long after the event, whereas a normal person will feel depressed but the feeling of depression fades after not too long of a period). Several months to a year or more may be required for the worst symptoms to pass. Certainly, if bad symptoms persist for longer than a year, professional help may be required (but it is a good idea for the victim of an abusive relationship to get professional help early anyway, as some of the side effects of an abusive relationship can be deadly).

Why is someone abusive in a relationship?

They have their own problems in which they have not sorted out therefore they take anger or other feelings out on the person whom they are with. Their are other reasons as well.

How can you tell if a person is being threated in an abusive relationship?

they will cringe, sort of, when around their spouse and be very timid when doing something so as not to anger him/her.