Is it true that narcissists have no past healthy friendships?
I was engaged to a N, so in love, etc..etc... In the early stages of our relationship, I would ask him why he didn't go out with his friends, or talk about anyone, to which he replied that he HATES males, and DID NOT have "boys night" or anything like that. I shrugged, he was a very elegant man, not the bars and football type. He mentioned that he is only friends with women, and had one gay male best friend, "Adrian." I heard the way my N used to speak to Adrian on the phone, and then comment after he would hang up, saying things like, "Adrian doesn't know ANYTHING, hes such a loser..." And then all of the sudden we never heard from Adrian again.
Months later, when I met my N's mother, she made a comment to me about how harsh her son had been to his friend. She previously employed Adrian in her family business in another city, so she was aware of his character, which didn't work out for her company, but that's a story I don't know. My N never discussed Adrian with me directly.
I didn't push the issue of my N's friend with him, but I did ask his mother about him much later into the relationship, just before I ended things. She said she didn't know what her son's problem was, but perhaps that they were both highly intelligent and perhaps her son just couldn't constructively discuss issues with him. This was a huge red flag for me. I didn't care that my N had only women friends, he only saw me in his eyes.
I ended things before I realized my N was psychologically ill, because I wasn't getting the emotional support I needed from who was to become my husband. I stumbled on articles about NPD, and am so lucky to have gotten out before further emotional damage was done, but it will always stick out in my head that my N always seemed to "toss aside" people he didn't need in his life anymore. I saw him do it to Adrian, and these few torrential months after our breakup, he has just done it to me. I get it now though.