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Answered 2006-11-06 22:47:14

I have deleted the previous waffle, and since, I am embarrassed to admit it, I wrote it I feel I was allowed to. I wrote it following a rather confusing break up and if I'm honest more so than wanting to know if he was OK, I wanted desperately to know what it was all about and to extend this honesty further, I kinda hoped he wasn't OK as that would at least indicate he had felt just a fraction of what he had told me while we were together. And so in conclusion and in answer to my own question. Of course it is not wrong to care for anyone, ever, but give yourself time and be sure you want to know how he is for the right reasons and your intentions are good. You should NEVER feel embarrassed. Sometimes when we are involved in an emotional upset we can't always see the forest for the trees. No one thinks clearly when they've been hurt in a relationship or even suffered from a trauma of any sort in life. No it isn't wrong to want to see your ex hurting a lot one minute and then caring about them the next. We hurt ourselves in such break-ups. Once the initial shock and hurt is over we can learn to forgive and move on. I have on my fridge, "If you can't forgive the person that hurt you then they still have control over you." This is a very true statement and one I follow to the inth degree. Remember, both of you loved each other once and have been left with some good memories and they weren't all bad. Sometimes people just fall out of love or they really don't know what they want. Since we don't know ourselves 100% how can we be expected to know others 100%. Good luck hon

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